The day I broke my cleanse. I was doing really well. I worked out with The Drummer. He went off to his classes and his gig out of town.
Then I went over to my best friend Victor and Steve's house. Vic just found out he has prostate cancer and he pulled the cancer card.
"You have to drink with us. I have cancer."
So it went from vodka and soda at their house to martinis at dinner and more cocktails as we danced the night away at lots o' lesbos at Truck Stop. Our friend Halle was djing and we proceeded to go out to Micky's and danced until 4 AM. I went to bed at 5 AM.
I definitely did not adhere to my cleanse. I blew it out.
Showing posts with label dancing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dancing. Show all posts
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Farewell Recap: My Dancing
As a part of my farewell to this blog, I'm doing a bit of a recap of where I am on certain subjects. And when I'm finished, just like I did when I broke up with my ex, I'm gone.
But I promise to leave my forwarding address...which will be another blog about something besides my now 8 month old break up. I think it's time to move on.
TODAY'S SUBJECT:
My dancing
When I was a child, I asked my parents if I could take dance classes at the YMCA. I was probably around 7 or 8 years old.
They said no. We couldn't afford it. The next year, they put my brother in soccer.
I've always said that if I had started dancing at 7 or 8, that I wouldn't have stopped and my life might be very different. I'd probably be a lot queenier. And probably way skinnier, but stronger physically at an earlier age. Don't get me wrong: I'm happy the way it worked out. I'm a writer and I am now starting to take dance classes again.
I had studied in college. Jazz, Modern and Ballet. Then I took up some yoga and hip hop here and there over the years. But now I'm getting back into both my yoga practice and my dance practice. The dancing is really just for fun these days. I take two different hip hop classes and I have to say that I dance with a lot more command than I used to. I just wasn't confident when I was younger. I was also 40 pounds lighter than I am now. So I had no strength in my body. And this dancing isn't creative or artistic. It's purely for fun.
Tonight I was in Michael Allan's dance class at LA Fitness and I rocked the fuck out of the routine. It was to some Janet Jackson song. But it was like I was in the front line during senior year and my name was Leroy...and my life was the film and subsequent TV version of FAME. This is the thing with dance, you can pour your emotion into it. And that's what I did tonight. I put everything into it...and the dance gave me back everything I wanted. It was a bit of a jazz influenced routine and at the end we had to drop to our knees and whip our heads back. And that's the kind of dance the 7 or 8 year old in me relishes.
So I got to give him a bit more of his dance life back. And from the looks of it and the comments of my friends in class, he got everything he could ever want...and more.
Tomorrow, that boy will be in heaven because I'm going to take a dance class that will be filmed for the local ABC affiliate out here in LA. It's GROOV3 and all they do is play great old 90s hip hop. It's my childhood all over again. So I'm putting on a cute outfit and I'm going to go out there and rock...the house down.
But I promise to leave my forwarding address...which will be another blog about something besides my now 8 month old break up. I think it's time to move on.
TODAY'S SUBJECT:
My dancing
When I was a child, I asked my parents if I could take dance classes at the YMCA. I was probably around 7 or 8 years old.
They said no. We couldn't afford it. The next year, they put my brother in soccer.
I've always said that if I had started dancing at 7 or 8, that I wouldn't have stopped and my life might be very different. I'd probably be a lot queenier. And probably way skinnier, but stronger physically at an earlier age. Don't get me wrong: I'm happy the way it worked out. I'm a writer and I am now starting to take dance classes again.
I had studied in college. Jazz, Modern and Ballet. Then I took up some yoga and hip hop here and there over the years. But now I'm getting back into both my yoga practice and my dance practice. The dancing is really just for fun these days. I take two different hip hop classes and I have to say that I dance with a lot more command than I used to. I just wasn't confident when I was younger. I was also 40 pounds lighter than I am now. So I had no strength in my body. And this dancing isn't creative or artistic. It's purely for fun.
Tonight I was in Michael Allan's dance class at LA Fitness and I rocked the fuck out of the routine. It was to some Janet Jackson song. But it was like I was in the front line during senior year and my name was Leroy...and my life was the film and subsequent TV version of FAME. This is the thing with dance, you can pour your emotion into it. And that's what I did tonight. I put everything into it...and the dance gave me back everything I wanted. It was a bit of a jazz influenced routine and at the end we had to drop to our knees and whip our heads back. And that's the kind of dance the 7 or 8 year old in me relishes.
So I got to give him a bit more of his dance life back. And from the looks of it and the comments of my friends in class, he got everything he could ever want...and more.
Tomorrow, that boy will be in heaven because I'm going to take a dance class that will be filmed for the local ABC affiliate out here in LA. It's GROOV3 and all they do is play great old 90s hip hop. It's my childhood all over again. So I'm putting on a cute outfit and I'm going to go out there and rock...the house down.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I'm a Dancer...the house down.
The house down is my favorite new catchphrase...I learned it on RuPaul's Drag Race. It's like adding extra exclaimation points to the end of a sentence.
I'm thrilled to be writing my blog on a hot ass day...the house down.
Yes, I am a dancer. I have always been a dancer and I will always be a dancer. There is a gypsy in my soul.
So, if I haven't mentioned it on here yet, I am dancing with members of my hip hop dance class at a charity event for City of Hope next weekend. I started taking hip hop dance classes seriously soon after my break up.
Background: I had studied dance in college, after a lifetime (up to that point) of wanting to dance. I had taken my first dance class at the age of six...maybe even before that. I think I had taken ballet at Montessori when I was four. And I really wanted to be a dancer. We had weekly classes in my Catholic grade school until I was twelve. Then I did musical theatre and all that jazz so I could keep dancing. But my parents would never pay for classes for me because they didn't believe that a boy should dance. So when I got to college, I really took dancing on with a vengeance. Then I gave it up after college because I wasn't going to go professional in my mind. So there's another example of me giving up something I loved because I felt like I already had something I loved but might not get paid for...writing. I couldn't possibly be an artist in all areas of life! That would have been too much happiness. And fast forward to now...I'm reclaiming my life because I had given it away at several important moments. Hence...the blog.
Okay, so I've been taking class and one day a couple of months ago, our instructor asked us if we would participate in this City of Hope charity event. And of course I said yes. And now I'm dancing. It's awesome and I love it. I'm claiming my love of dance all over again. And I'm pretty good. Well, at least I love it.
The interesting thing is that the ex told me several times in the course of our relationship that I wasn't a dancer. He felt he had to tell me point blank that I wasn't a dancer. Like if we were out clubbing. Or if I talked about how I was a dancer in college. He would say to me, "You danced in college. You were never a dancer."
Why didn't I get it then?
And for me, that was stomping out my soul, like a cigarette. I always believed I was a frustrated dancer in the body of a writer. And now I'm in the body of a dancer...the house down.
I just realized something...that small gesture of having to take hip hop classes every week is a direct reaction to that statement. To the fact that several people in my life over the course of my life have said to me in one way shape or form:
YOU ARE NOT A DANCER
I am a dancer. I'm a dancer and a faggot and a beaner and a chink chink and a lefty and a lisper and a duck walker and a sissy and a lady and an ethnic and a loca. I am all of those things. I claim all of those things. I love all of those things. I'm a nerd and a weirdo. I'm a showgirl and a Liza lover. I'm a dancer. Maybe not the greatest dancer...but I went wow anyway.
And shortly, I will be a dancer for money. But a very, very, very public one. There's nothing private about this dancer no mo'.
I'm thrilled to be writing my blog on a hot ass day...the house down.
Yes, I am a dancer. I have always been a dancer and I will always be a dancer. There is a gypsy in my soul.
So, if I haven't mentioned it on here yet, I am dancing with members of my hip hop dance class at a charity event for City of Hope next weekend. I started taking hip hop dance classes seriously soon after my break up.
Background: I had studied dance in college, after a lifetime (up to that point) of wanting to dance. I had taken my first dance class at the age of six...maybe even before that. I think I had taken ballet at Montessori when I was four. And I really wanted to be a dancer. We had weekly classes in my Catholic grade school until I was twelve. Then I did musical theatre and all that jazz so I could keep dancing. But my parents would never pay for classes for me because they didn't believe that a boy should dance. So when I got to college, I really took dancing on with a vengeance. Then I gave it up after college because I wasn't going to go professional in my mind. So there's another example of me giving up something I loved because I felt like I already had something I loved but might not get paid for...writing. I couldn't possibly be an artist in all areas of life! That would have been too much happiness. And fast forward to now...I'm reclaiming my life because I had given it away at several important moments. Hence...the blog.
Okay, so I've been taking class and one day a couple of months ago, our instructor asked us if we would participate in this City of Hope charity event. And of course I said yes. And now I'm dancing. It's awesome and I love it. I'm claiming my love of dance all over again. And I'm pretty good. Well, at least I love it.
The interesting thing is that the ex told me several times in the course of our relationship that I wasn't a dancer. He felt he had to tell me point blank that I wasn't a dancer. Like if we were out clubbing. Or if I talked about how I was a dancer in college. He would say to me, "You danced in college. You were never a dancer."
Why didn't I get it then?
And for me, that was stomping out my soul, like a cigarette. I always believed I was a frustrated dancer in the body of a writer. And now I'm in the body of a dancer...the house down.
I just realized something...that small gesture of having to take hip hop classes every week is a direct reaction to that statement. To the fact that several people in my life over the course of my life have said to me in one way shape or form:
YOU ARE NOT A DANCER
I am a dancer. I'm a dancer and a faggot and a beaner and a chink chink and a lefty and a lisper and a duck walker and a sissy and a lady and an ethnic and a loca. I am all of those things. I claim all of those things. I love all of those things. I'm a nerd and a weirdo. I'm a showgirl and a Liza lover. I'm a dancer. Maybe not the greatest dancer...but I went wow anyway.
And shortly, I will be a dancer for money. But a very, very, very public one. There's nothing private about this dancer no mo'.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Stretched Out
When I was in college, the most productive trimester I had was when I had a full course load, dance rehearsals, rehearsals for a play I was in and rehearsals for a play that I wrote. I'm older now, but I'm going to put the theory to the test that the busier I am, the most productive I'll be.
My eyes want to close, but I've got dance rehearsal in a little over an hour. I'm doing this hip hop performance with my dance class from the gym. I'm going to have to see how this goes because right now I just want to crawl into bed. Part of the reason I agreed to do this performance was because I miss dancing. Dancing was always a great part of my routine when I was in college. And I feel truly like when I'm dancing, I'm expressing an important part of me. It's freedom.
It's also exercise and great cardio. I have this not so secret desire to slim down a bit. It'll be my first summer back at the beach. I didn't go to the beach (except for vacations) the entire time I was with my ex. It's important for me to feel like I can have fun and splash around in the water. He didn't feel great about his body, so it was hard for him to be at the beach and I had to suffer for it. He's also lily white and I'm Mowgli from the Jungle book. I love the sun.
I definitely feel like this might be taking on too much. Work has gotten crazy. I'm reading scripts and planning out a show with my bosses. If it doesn't feel right after tonight, I'm probably going to drop out because I won't get home until 11 and then I have to wake up to do it all over again at 6 AM. I'm dancing 4 days a week and working out 3 days a week. Two of those days are dance and workout days.
Is a hot body worth it? I don't know. It's definitely testing my theory of why I've never had the hottie hot hot hot body. I just look cute and am naturally slender. For me, it all seemed to unattainable. Some of it felt like I didn't need to have the abs and the pecs and the arms. Part of it was feeling undeserving. And then part of it was just the sheer amount of work. I want it all. I want to be exhausted at the end of the day because I put my mind and body to the edge. I want to test my limits and then fly past them.
Maybe the next step in this revolution of my body and soul is this hip hop dance rehearsal. Then eating better, which I started with my cleanse. Then getting tons of rest. Then finishing all of this writing. It's funny because now that I'm doing THIS writing and putting my thoughts into words, I feel energy. I feel capable. I've already made so many choices in my life over the past five months that have made it better. And this one will take it to the next level. I love to dance. I'm an accomplished person in many areas. But sometimes I feel like what I really am at my core is a frustrated dancer.
So I'm going to get up, dance, shake it and do my thing.
My eyes want to close, but I've got dance rehearsal in a little over an hour. I'm doing this hip hop performance with my dance class from the gym. I'm going to have to see how this goes because right now I just want to crawl into bed. Part of the reason I agreed to do this performance was because I miss dancing. Dancing was always a great part of my routine when I was in college. And I feel truly like when I'm dancing, I'm expressing an important part of me. It's freedom.
It's also exercise and great cardio. I have this not so secret desire to slim down a bit. It'll be my first summer back at the beach. I didn't go to the beach (except for vacations) the entire time I was with my ex. It's important for me to feel like I can have fun and splash around in the water. He didn't feel great about his body, so it was hard for him to be at the beach and I had to suffer for it. He's also lily white and I'm Mowgli from the Jungle book. I love the sun.
I definitely feel like this might be taking on too much. Work has gotten crazy. I'm reading scripts and planning out a show with my bosses. If it doesn't feel right after tonight, I'm probably going to drop out because I won't get home until 11 and then I have to wake up to do it all over again at 6 AM. I'm dancing 4 days a week and working out 3 days a week. Two of those days are dance and workout days.
Is a hot body worth it? I don't know. It's definitely testing my theory of why I've never had the hottie hot hot hot body. I just look cute and am naturally slender. For me, it all seemed to unattainable. Some of it felt like I didn't need to have the abs and the pecs and the arms. Part of it was feeling undeserving. And then part of it was just the sheer amount of work. I want it all. I want to be exhausted at the end of the day because I put my mind and body to the edge. I want to test my limits and then fly past them.
Maybe the next step in this revolution of my body and soul is this hip hop dance rehearsal. Then eating better, which I started with my cleanse. Then getting tons of rest. Then finishing all of this writing. It's funny because now that I'm doing THIS writing and putting my thoughts into words, I feel energy. I feel capable. I've already made so many choices in my life over the past five months that have made it better. And this one will take it to the next level. I love to dance. I'm an accomplished person in many areas. But sometimes I feel like what I really am at my core is a frustrated dancer.
So I'm going to get up, dance, shake it and do my thing.
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