Patterns: Letting Go

In my conversation with the boyfriend today, I realized that certain patterns still exist.  My tarot card reading last month said that I'm still playing out past relationships.

The boyfriend said that we might break up if I move away for a job.
The boyfriend said that he has to work hard to pay for what we have.

The Ex used to say these things all of the time.

I wonder if I have to look at this stuff again, both my involvement and my ability to keep revisiting the same issues.

I thought I chose differently this time and now I'm having doubts.

My tarot reading also said that I have to be firm in my belief that I'm good enough and I have to be strong in my own self confidence.

That conversation made me really firm in what I want for myself.

I am going to progress full steam ahead, knowing that I am not planning on letting my relationship go.  But as the reading also said, I have done everything I can for this relationship in terms of my love for it. The rest is not up to me.

I have given myself fully to him.  And that has to be enough.

If it's not enough for him, then that's on him.  I know that I love him.  I know that my love for him has not wavered.

I get frustrated.  I get insecure.  But my love for him is strong.  As strong as it has always been.

I am letting go of that responsibility.  If life brings me an opportunity that is right for me and it is out of town, I am going out of town.  He would not hesitate if a great opportunity came for him.  It's a double standard.  And I'm not going to be bound by his double standard.  He would go for it because he believes he deserves it and because he's a musician and that's what musicians do.

I wish he felt the same about writers.

I am grateful for the opportunities that have come my way.
I am grateful for an open mind and an open heart.
I am grateful that I am learning new things about myself every day.