My Dad passed away last July and I think about him every day. My family and I talk a lot about the things he could have done and would have done had he lived. I came across this article on Facebook and a lot of it rang true to me.
http://www.trueactivist.com/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/
I think my Dad had a lot of these regrets. Something I've learned in the 16 months he's been gone is that I need to change things in my life now so I don't end up sick and dying in bed at least 20 years ahead of my time. Here are the points the author makes and how I've changed my life since my Dad's death.
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not to the life others expected of me. I think I'm doing that now. For so long, I felt like I had to live my life a certain way. Responsibly. Being responsible has so many connotations that aren't all positive. I was raised to be a responsible person. But some of that had to do with expectations, not with what I wanted out of life. I went to private schools my whole life and have done very well academically. I have held down responsible jobs and now I'm at a point in my life where I want to focus primarily on my writing. The idea of living responsibility has a lot to do with being financially stable. I don't dispute that. But one can also live a life of their own design and still be responsible in every way. I'm embarking on a new adventure as a freelancer. It's frightening, but I don't want to be held down to a normal nine to five. I want to teach. I am not closed off to the idea of a stable job with benefits at all. Teaching would be that for me. But I don't want to just settle in one place for the sake of security. I don't want to stop taking risks. Sometimes standing on your own and following your gut is a lonely place. But I want happiness out of my life. I don't want to hate what I do for a living. And in order to change things around, I have to start approaching life differently. I write every day and I trust that the Universe will send opportunities my way. I'm opening myself up in a new, trusting way that I've never embraced before. It's the scariest thing ever. But it's the most liberating thing ever, too.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard. Well, this is completely contrary to the way I was raised. But I know as a kid my Dad wasn't around a lot. I have had a freer schedule in the past two and a half years, including the time when I was taking care of my Dad most of the time. I have to say that because I wasn't working a 60 hour work week (40 hour work weeks don't exist in entertainment), I didn't miss any of it. I was there to feed my Dad, administer his medication, consult with his nurses and make his transition as peaceful and dignified as possible. I didn't work so hard at things I hated, which meant that I didn't miss out. Hard work and commitment is one thing. But laboring over something to where you miss out on life is another. I have done without a lot because I've been on unemployment. But I have never been happier. And now, when work starts coming in more regularly, I will know how to manage that in my life too. I will know exactly what I need to survive and the rest I can let go of because I'm not going to work myself to the bone on something I hate doing just to acquire stuff. I want to acquire stuff my doing what I love and doing it until my hands bleed.
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Never had a problem with that. I was an effusive, emotional kid from the womb. I express my feelings so that I can be aware of how I feel at all times.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I don't have a huge posse, but I have friends who are close to my that I care about greatly. And those people I make sure I keep in touch with constantly. I try to keep people in my life, not get rid of them if I can help it.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier. Happiness is the key. So is kindness. And I try to surround myself with both all the time. If you live the life you want, express yourself and have good friends to share it with you are allowing yourself to be happier. I like visiting my brother and his family in Portland. I like eating. I like spending time with my boyfriend. All of these things can be done for a lot or a little money. So there's no excuse to spend time with the people you love.
I also started eating healthier. I exercise a lot more. And I rest a lot more. I try to give my body a break so I can continue to enjoy it for a long, long time to come. And I hope I don't lay on my death bed feeling any of these regrets because I will have completed my journey and I'll be ready for the next adventure.
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