I have been on THIS journey for almost four years.
This journey being the journey of this blog which I started almost four years ago. My big break up happened four years ago Halloween. And what I have gained in perspective and in peace of mind in that four years is immeasurable. And it continues to grow and expand all of the time.
In some ways, I don't recognize that person. But in other ways, I am very aware of who he is and his attributes so that I don't revert back to that. I don't think I could go backwards completely, but that sort of Resistance is dangerous and something I have to keep my eye on constantly.
I started this blog because I needed a place to talk about these changes that were going on inside of me. I needed a place to be safe and here in this blog I could be safe and sound. I could voice what was happening. A friend years ago said that I had been incredibly honest in this blog. I know that she meant that I had been too honest. Well, not too honest for me. I had to exorcise those demons and I had to do them publicly so I wouldn't turn back. I had to make a commitment to myself to move forward and putting my life down for people to read made sure that I was accountable. And there was something incredibly liberating about that sort of honesty, especially in the first year of that blog. Now I write when I have to get a thought down. It's less urgent these days because I am living the life I want to be living.
I realize how much money doesn't matter, but happiness does. That does not mean that I want to be destitute. But I don't want to be spiritually or emotionally bankrupt either. I had given everything away. I didn't know what riches I had, so I just gave them away. So actually four years ago, I was the poorest I had ever been. I know what real poverty looks like. To be spiritually gone is to have nothing. And I had nothing left. I had given everything away to my Ex because that's all I knew.
I used to want us to be friends. I used to want him and I to have an honest conversation, but I don't think he is capable of it. And if he is ever capable of it, he will find me. I will not seek it out because in some ways I was ready a few weeks after we broke up. I wasn't spiritually whole by any means, but I was ready to get rid of that old self. Now I don't need us to be friends. I don't need to be liked by him. I could give a rat's ass if he had anything nice to say about me. One of my favorite sayings is, "What people think of me is none of my business." And it's not.
I have been going through a period of unpopularity lately with certain people in my life. I take accountability and responsibility for hurting people when I have. But when I legitimately have not hurt someone, I am not in the business of apologizing to make them feel better. I am not into the business of selling myself out for that. I appreciate the love and the growth that those friends have brought into my life. I am grateful for the purpose that those friendships served. But certain relationships are only for a season of one's life. And I am getting much more certain in how I feel people out. I used to apologize up and down the block to people when I didn't want to just so that they would feel better. I didn't realize that they were shaming me and by apologizing, I was giving away my own power. Again, if I have done something wrong, I know it in my soul. And I will account for that. But if someone is bringing their grief to my table, I will push it aside and not digest it. That grief can get cold and moldy and stale and eventually go away. I am not taking on other's grief for the benefit of their ego.
I was watching Ali MacGraw on Super Soul Sunday a few days ago and she was talking about the joy of saying "No." Just a flat out No. Not an apology or a follow up or even a "No, thank you." But just no. And there is something powerful in saying No. A refusal to accept anything less than what you deserve. And we fall back on apologizing because just saying No or just telling people how you feel, warts and all, can be a lonely place. I even feel it in my relationship sometimes. But as my tarot cards said recently, my temperament is part of who I am. My ruthlessness. My cutting to the chase. I used to think that all of those behaviors were mean-spirited. They can be. But there's also something about cutting to the core of who you are and what you want that is extremely powerful. It's so powerful often that we run away from it. And I am no longer running away from getting to the essence of my being in its pure form. I don't need to cut it with anything, like an excuse. If I don't want something or I don't accept something, it is enough to not want it and not accept it.
That's something I couldn't do four years ago. Four years ago, everything my boyfriend said to me or every insult he struck me with stuck with me. I couldn't shake the emotion. Every time we had a fight, I couldn't write to escape. I couldn't just put it out of my mind. I held onto it tightly and it made me deeply unhappy. It was an awful existence. And thank God I got out because now I know it would have killed me. Maybe not right away. Maybe not some sort of big blow out fight that would end in a knife stab or a gun shot. Maybe not a drug overdose. But if I continued to be unhappy, a cancer would grow inside of me, either actual or metaphorical. I had such a high threshold for pain that I stayed in it for way too long.
I don't like to stand that kind of pain for very long. I get rid of it right away. In fact, I don't get near it. My spiritual journey over the past four years has led me back to the person I am meant to be. I realize that I knew things for years that I didn't realize I knew. Then I gave myself away and started learning things I didn't need to know, except for the fact that by learning those things I saw the value in what I have always known. It's like living in CA growing up. I never appreciated how beautiful it is here until I moved to places with colder, wetter, snowier climates. Now I realize how lucky I am to live in CA for the weather and I notice it every day. Now I realize how lucky I am to have true happiness and certainty in myself that I will never take it for granted again.
I am grateful for every minute it took for me to learn every lesson I've ever learned.
I am grateful for peace of mind.
I am grateful for gratitude.
I am grateful for solitude.
I am grateful for my meditation practice.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Why Do I Always Cry in Meditation?
It's not like I get the boo hoos. I don't start heaving and sobbing uncontrollably.
But my eyes water and get wet. Usually, I attribute it to being tired in the morning. But this morning, I had a deep meditation and tears were streaming down my face. I don't feel sad. I don't feel depressed or emotional. But my eyes get wet and eventually there are tears.
Today the tears were flowing. And I started asking myself why. I think that meditation is my one time during the day where I completely release. The work I have been doing has been emotional. I'm transcribing an old play of mine that I didn't have in the proper format which is also about my family. My body is just letting the emotions flow out. It's a good thing. It's natural, which is evidenced by the fact that the tears just flow without effort or emotion behind them.
Today's centering thought of my meditation was the following:
And today's meditation was about Activating Power. I feel like this was the perfect meditation for me this morning. I have become more familiar and used to my Power over the past year or so. Before I used to give my Power up and let other people take the lead. Or I used to let what other people said about me affect me negatively. I needed that validation. Now I am learning to let go of that need for validation and I am claiming my Power. I am claiming the force it has, the effect it has on other people and my ability to harness it. I have lived my life knowing I have Power within and being afraid of it. I am not afraid of it any more. I am excited by its great light. I am honored to have this Power within me. My tarot card reading said that having this Power, sharing this Power, and living this Power is a responsibility. I am finally ready to fully take on the responsibility. That is the only way truly life changing events can occur in my life. If I run away from that responsibility, how can I reap the benefits that my Life Energy affords me. It's all there. It's like the equity in a home. I can only benefit from it if I use it.
And this Power has been building equity ever since I was born. I have used some of it from time to time, but I have built up enough that I can harness that Power and put it to work for me.
I find it interesting that my meditations regularly involve tears and vulnerability. And that I have this Power that I am accessing. Strength is Vulnerability. I don't know how it could be any clearer.
I am taking today to just be. I am drinking tea. Writing this blog. I will go shower shortly. I am spending time quietly. Maybe I'll meditate more before the day gets started. Then I am taking the boyfriend to the airport. And I think I might go to the spa and sit in quiet for awhile as well.
The Universe has been asking me to slow down since yesterday. I woke up and went to go get gas at Costco. I drove all the way from my friend's house in Laurel Canyon to Burbank. Then the entire gas station was closed. I remember thinking that it was a waste of time initially. Then I decided to enjoy the drive, which was out of my way. I still had to get gas, so I stopped at a gas station I know near my house. It took me awhile to merge back into traffic and get to the gym to do a short workout.
I didn't realize it at the time, but the Universe was already telling me that this wasn't going to be the day I expected. So I went to the office. Dealt with some issues there. Meditated about mentorship. Got a phone call from a woman who might be a mentor for me according to my latest tarot reading. Great sign of meditation in action. Then when I felt like I wasn't getting any work done, my desk collapsed to let me know that work wasn't going to happen today. I had to drive back to Burbank to the IKEA there to get my replacement parts for my desk that bent when the desk collapsed. I live in Burbank and had to go there twice randomly that didn't involve me going home. So maybe there's another message about focusing on my home life that the Universe was trying to send me as well.
So eventually I came back to my friend's house where I'm staying and just laid down. I was exhausted from the day, but also exhausted from all the work I've been doing on this screenplay for five weeks straight. I wasn't honoring my body by resting. So I did that. And I am going to continue to do that today. I need to respect what my body is telling me. It needs rest. My mind needs rest. I need to refill my tank and let inspiration come. I need to be around friends, which I was able to do last night with my playwrights group. I need to be embraced by people who care about me and understand me.
There are more battles ahead in this war, but for the time being, I need to rest and recoup.
I am grateful for sleep.
I am grateful for entertaining videos on You Tube.
I am grateful for food.
I am grateful for my meditation practice.
I am grateful for laughs.
I am grateful for time together with people I like and respect.
But my eyes water and get wet. Usually, I attribute it to being tired in the morning. But this morning, I had a deep meditation and tears were streaming down my face. I don't feel sad. I don't feel depressed or emotional. But my eyes get wet and eventually there are tears.
Today the tears were flowing. And I started asking myself why. I think that meditation is my one time during the day where I completely release. The work I have been doing has been emotional. I'm transcribing an old play of mine that I didn't have in the proper format which is also about my family. My body is just letting the emotions flow out. It's a good thing. It's natural, which is evidenced by the fact that the tears just flow without effort or emotion behind them.
Today's centering thought of my meditation was the following:
My Life Energy Organizes My Life Effortlessly
And today's meditation was about Activating Power. I feel like this was the perfect meditation for me this morning. I have become more familiar and used to my Power over the past year or so. Before I used to give my Power up and let other people take the lead. Or I used to let what other people said about me affect me negatively. I needed that validation. Now I am learning to let go of that need for validation and I am claiming my Power. I am claiming the force it has, the effect it has on other people and my ability to harness it. I have lived my life knowing I have Power within and being afraid of it. I am not afraid of it any more. I am excited by its great light. I am honored to have this Power within me. My tarot card reading said that having this Power, sharing this Power, and living this Power is a responsibility. I am finally ready to fully take on the responsibility. That is the only way truly life changing events can occur in my life. If I run away from that responsibility, how can I reap the benefits that my Life Energy affords me. It's all there. It's like the equity in a home. I can only benefit from it if I use it.
And this Power has been building equity ever since I was born. I have used some of it from time to time, but I have built up enough that I can harness that Power and put it to work for me.
I find it interesting that my meditations regularly involve tears and vulnerability. And that I have this Power that I am accessing. Strength is Vulnerability. I don't know how it could be any clearer.
I am taking today to just be. I am drinking tea. Writing this blog. I will go shower shortly. I am spending time quietly. Maybe I'll meditate more before the day gets started. Then I am taking the boyfriend to the airport. And I think I might go to the spa and sit in quiet for awhile as well.
The Universe has been asking me to slow down since yesterday. I woke up and went to go get gas at Costco. I drove all the way from my friend's house in Laurel Canyon to Burbank. Then the entire gas station was closed. I remember thinking that it was a waste of time initially. Then I decided to enjoy the drive, which was out of my way. I still had to get gas, so I stopped at a gas station I know near my house. It took me awhile to merge back into traffic and get to the gym to do a short workout.
I didn't realize it at the time, but the Universe was already telling me that this wasn't going to be the day I expected. So I went to the office. Dealt with some issues there. Meditated about mentorship. Got a phone call from a woman who might be a mentor for me according to my latest tarot reading. Great sign of meditation in action. Then when I felt like I wasn't getting any work done, my desk collapsed to let me know that work wasn't going to happen today. I had to drive back to Burbank to the IKEA there to get my replacement parts for my desk that bent when the desk collapsed. I live in Burbank and had to go there twice randomly that didn't involve me going home. So maybe there's another message about focusing on my home life that the Universe was trying to send me as well.
So eventually I came back to my friend's house where I'm staying and just laid down. I was exhausted from the day, but also exhausted from all the work I've been doing on this screenplay for five weeks straight. I wasn't honoring my body by resting. So I did that. And I am going to continue to do that today. I need to respect what my body is telling me. It needs rest. My mind needs rest. I need to refill my tank and let inspiration come. I need to be around friends, which I was able to do last night with my playwrights group. I need to be embraced by people who care about me and understand me.
There are more battles ahead in this war, but for the time being, I need to rest and recoup.
I am grateful for sleep.
I am grateful for entertaining videos on You Tube.
I am grateful for food.
I am grateful for my meditation practice.
I am grateful for laughs.
I am grateful for time together with people I like and respect.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Tarot Card Reading Revisit: Connecting the Dots
I had my tarot cards read almost a month ago. I love having them read and I love to go back a bit later and see what has resonated for me. It's a good opportunity for reflection and to reinforce the messages of the reading.
So here's the link to my original reading:
http://iambacktolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/tarot-card-reading-ask-for-help.html
And I'm going to go back and see what has come to pass.
Where You Are Now (Knight of Wands)
Great time for travel if you can get away. You feel charged up. Ready to get things done. Knights are message bearers and positive in work and career when it's a Knight of Wands. You have a lot of reasons to feel pride. Savor it. Make sure you're making time to talk in your relationship. That will bring you closer. Money should be flowing, but cut expenses where you can. Devote time money and energy to the spiritual causes you believe in.
What you're looking for is coming. Work without worry or concern. Get things done.
I haven't traveled much lately. But I am feeling an incredible amount of energy towards work and I'm getting a lot done in a short amount of time. It doesn't feel as much like work as it typically has. I'm very focused on a spiritual path and that seems related to my calling as a writer. I feel abundance and I feel like money is coming, although that has been slow. I am not anxious over it, which is shocking. I am calmly working very hard and happy to do so.
Atmosphere/Setting the Stage (9 of Wands)
Don't let the things you are worried about overwhelm you. Get very specific about what you're worried about and pick it apart. Pinpoint it. Comfort yourself and ask for help if you need it. Be clear about the things you can and can't control at work. This is a good time to get yourself whole emotionally. Get some space from your beloved if you need it. You shouldn't be fighting all of the time. Look at ways, even small ones, to increase your income. Meditation is important. Get lots of food, exercise and rest. Surround yourself with good people.
One last challenge before you get to your goal. Plan your next course of action. You're in a position of strength.
Yes, there is worry and concern about money. I am trying to forge ahead and figure out big and small ways I can bring in more money. I have been meditating every day, that helps. I have been trying to be good to myself. That seems to be good too. And being surrounded by good people is really important to me these days. It feels like I'm able to sense more negativity if it's around me. And I'm not standing for it. I just try to let go of the things I can't control, especially in terms of friends. I know what I need to be positive and successful. Gossip and petty behavior isn't a part of that anymore.
What I'm Supposed to be Learning This Month (The Lovers)
It usually points to romantic partnerships with one person. But it can also address the duality in all of us. Follow your heart when it comes to any hesitation or ambivalence in a relationship. You may be facing a choice or decision in relationship to work. Analyze all of your information then make your best choice. Bring love to the center of your life and rebond with your love. You will be glowing. Life will be blissful to you know, which is wonderful. Others recognize your glow. Financially, don't lose sight of the things you really must do. When it comes to health, focus on your healing energy and affirmations to become whole. A mentor may be ready to come into your life: "when a student is ready, the teacher appears."
Unexpected change in love life. Security vs. risk. You've got decisions to make.
I feel like I am in a stage in my life where I need to choose the right thing for myself. Secure choices and risky choices are being offered to me. I interviewed for a job that would be very secure and would offer me no time to write. Fortunately, the person interviewing me and I figured that out pretty quickly. I found myself in a place in my life where I could say, "No this isn't the right thing for me" without reservation. And that's a risk to basically turn down a job that you could do with your "eyes closed" (her words, not mine). But I know that I have worked hard especially this year to write full time. And people are treating me as a full time writer, which is a glow I do not want to diminish. I'm not sure what is unexpected about my love life, but I am working hard on making sure I have time for him. It's hard when your focus is so strong and it threatens to exclude that person.
The Root/The Unconscious/The Foundation I'm Standing On (10 of Discs)
Your material needs will be met, perhaps to a degree you didn't think possible. Things in general will be going extremely well. Security in all forms is at a high ebb. You have a great deal to be thankful for. Relationships of all kinds are going well. Make sure to share what you have, even a kind word. A raise in pay or a better position will come out of the blue. You are very likely to enjoy this situation. Just the right position at just the right pay will be made yours if you keep trying. Under no circumstances should you give up. Things are on the upswing, even if you see no concrete signs of that yet. Make sure your beloved knows how much they mean to you. You should have more than enough money to meet your needs. Invest in your future and save some of what you have now. Think about how you can share your peace, love and prosperity. Time to share.
Carefree time. Abundance and prosperity. Job security. Don't be afraid to take risks. Great time to be self employed. Create a base for yourself.
All of this is positive. I didn't read the part before about things being on the upswing, even if there are no concrete signs of that. I don't see concrete signs of money, but to know that things are heading in a good direction and that I can't give up is encouraging. Money is the one area that continues to feel uncertain. So by putting my energy into my office and knowing that money is coming, more than I thought possible, connected to a job better than I thought possible, is incredible. So I just keep meditating and working, knowing it will come. And this time does feel carefree in a way I haven't experienced in awhile. So I feel blessed for that. And I do need to set up my website so I can do some consulting.
The Last Two Weeks (Strength)
The importance of mind over matter. Focus on what you want to do, rather than what you don't. You have the power to harness your thoughts and use them for your benefit, as well as for others. This is a responsibility that you have. Conquer your fears, control your impulses and never lose patience with yourself or what you want to achieve. Meditation and contemplation is important. Don't spend time with fear or preoccupation. Outward things will be going all right, but keep your head on straight. If you are looking for work, know that you have the wherewithal and skill set to find it. You have more options than you typically think possible. Love should be going very well. Money should be in a positive cycle. Save some, even if it's just a little. This is a great time to control bad habits for your health. Spend time on mind, body and spirit. You are stronger than you think.
You have an internal power you need to trust in. Harmony of the spiritual and material. You have the ability to over come your own obstacles. And you need to do this.
This is a great reminder that I have the power to make anything come to fruition that I want to happen. By writing every day, I am focusing on what I want to do rather than what I don't. I was going to reach out again to a former boss about making some money, but this is what I don't want to do. I am going to trust that money is coming in the way that I want it to, through writing. So I am not going to reach out to him any further. That is scary, but that is focusing on what I want to do. It's much deeper than just wanting a job or more money. I have the responsibility to harness my abilities around what I truly, deeply, and madly want. No compromising. I have been meditating a lot and thinking a lot about what I really want (hence my blogs). My mother said a few weeks ago that things were coming to be because "you are ready." She said this with tears in her eyes. And I believe that she is right. Whatever I want I can have. I just have to push it forward and work towards it.
How Others See Me in the World (Daughter of Discs/Page of Pentacles)
Can be a card about boredom. Resist the the impulse to shake things up just for excitement. There is a better use for this energy. Great work to support you when you've got tedious work to do. Focus, backbone and wherewithal to tackle a tedious project. There's more work to be done than time to do it. Just roll up your sleeves and get busy. Slow and steady wins the race. If you need assistance to get things done, it's there for you. Love may have lost some of its luster. Work hard to get it back. Financial reward for good old fashioned hard work. No time to gamble or be unrealistic. A good time to put an honest appraisal on the value of your skills and effort. If you're not being properly compensated, now is a good time to make a change. Invest, don't spend. You don't have to get sick to get attention. Take care of yourself.
Your a student, an apprentice with boundless energy and enthusiasm. Little distinction between work and play. On a real vision quest. Idealistic. Will get good news involving clients.
I have been a bit bored lately. This is a great reminder to not create drama or excitement. There's work to be done and the excitement can happen in the work. I love it and there's plenty of excitement and attention there. Any health issues will result from emotional issues. So it's important that I take care of myself and continue to put my energy in good places. This card is about how others see me. I guess people see me as someone who's got boundless energy and is always busy. As a productive, enthusiastic, positive person who works hard. I am happy with this assessment.
The Next Two Weeks (The Crone/The Hermit)
An extremely spiritual card. Spirituality even if you are an atheist. It might indicate trying to figure something out about someone else. Ask for help with this and get several opinions if you need to. As with the Strength card (where I was two weeks before this), you might be feeling like you need time alone. Take it. This is a card about "trying to do the right thing." Just make sure that the right thing is what you need personally, not just worrying about the wants and needs of others. You are reaching the point where work success and recognition are well within your grasp. Do your best to be organized and productive. This will pay off for you in ways that aren't clear yet. Do the "right thing" even if no one is watching. It seems that romantic relationships are not a priority for you right now. If you're committed, you might have been moving in different directions for a while now. Make sure you connect to keep the spark alive. Be conservative with it comes to investments. Now is not the time to gamble. Ritual is important health wise. Of any sort. Like even going into an office every day. Any health problems might indicate something emotional, not physical. It is very likely that someone will come into your life who is a mentor or teacher, even if they don't "teach" you directly. You will still learn from them on many levels. If you need to be alone, be alone. You will emerge from this month renewed spiritually.
Searching for truth. A solitary journey. You will get into the deeper levels of your psyche.Your inner light will illuminate others. Card associated with Saturn Returns. Period of solitude is nearing completion. Increase in productivity. Success is within your reach.
My best friend gave me the use of her house while she's out of town. I have been spending my weeks here at the house and my weekends at my place. I think that has helped on a number of levels. It has given me and my boyfriend space, which I think we need (according to another card in the deck). But it has allowed me to put all of my focus where I need to put it. When I am here at my friend's place, I go to the gym in the morning a few times a week and then I'm in my office anywhere between 8-8:30. Then I mediate and I am working earlier. If I stay at my place, I am in my office by 9:30-10, which is fine. But earlier is better. Like I said before, the money and the success I don't see coming, even if they are around the corner. What I do see coming is my productivity and my work. That is where the focus has been lately. It's hard to justify spending this much time alone when you're in a relationship. And this card says I need to honor that and do the right thing for myself, even if it doesn't seem like the right thing for my relationship. We have been good about spending tim together on the weekends and if I have a free evening, I go over there. As long as I have gotten my work done. I remember when I read this for the first time, it said that ritual was important for my health. I thought it just meant running or exercising. Now I realize it means ritual of any kind. And I go to the office every day. I write every day. I meditate every day. I run every so often. I go to the gym every other day. Ritual's important because it take my mind off of things, but it also gets me to work towards my goal. As the cards said, on two different occasions, slow and steady wins the race.
Self Concept Card/ How I Feel About Myself (Shaman of Swords)
Powerful, strong, forceful opinionated man. Darker hair. You may be tempted to think only about how things affect you personally, particularly when this card does not represent a man in your life. Consider the feelings of others before you act. A very forceful energy. You may not always get a man in your life to change his mind. You may have to change something major about your behavior, thoughts or expectations. Don't overextend your reach. A man in your work environment may be talking to you in a way that you find bothersome, but you might be too sensitive. If you're looking for work, a stereotypical "man's man" might be in a position to hire you, but you will have to impress him on every level to get the job. Know where to draw the line, but don't be too quick to claim offense. You might have to accept your beloved as he is, using your feminine energy. Don't put up with being mistreated. You need to fully understand and face the reality of your financial situation. A need for generosity towards others. The rewards your reap will be worth it. Active meditations are useful now.
This card and the Son of Wands speak to each other. You're a writer. Your cutting ruthlessness is about getting rid of what is useless. You're the head of your own company. You rarely vacillate. Air signs: Aquarius. Cut away from an old idea which has outlived its purpose. Listen to your intuition. You have the intellect to get to the heart of the matter.
This card is about how I feel about myself. The more female version of this reading says that I am a writer and that my cutting ruthlessness is about getting rid of what's useless or unnecessary. That kind of describes me to a T. Does it always warm up my boyfriend to me? No. But I don't like things that are not needed. I get to the point a lot because I don't want to waste time. This also points to the masculine energy that I am getting more and more familiar with and used to. I am trying not to just let this be an excuse for me to be ruthless and to the point. I also have to think about what I am doing and saying. I have to be fully self-aware. But it also hollers back to some of the cards before this that have said that my believe in myself is of paramount importance right now and that I have to trust what I know. I have great leaps and strides I want to take and I can't take them with the aplomb necessary unless my foundation is solid. And the cards are saying that I need to strengthen the foundation because the leaps and bounds are coming.
Hope and Fear (Queen of Wands)
One of the most fertile (metaphorically and literally) and feminine cards of the deck. Can represent a literal person. Good energy to receive. When not about a literal person, about getting a lot accomplished. Often a focus on work and career. You're going to get a great deal done in a short amount of time. If you're looking for work, a woman can be instrumental in helping you find employment. Exercise moderation when it comes to finances. Make time for rest and relaxation, no matter what.
Female energy. There is knowledge and wisdom that has been brought to you. You are whole or becoming whole due to self-acceptance. Your temperamental behavior is simply a part of who you are. Don't lose that. Work is very important right now. Older woman who's going to be very helpful to you. Expect improvement at work.
I remember when I saw this, I thought that it was right on. I was working on a screenplay at the time and had to get the whole thing written in five weeks. I was starting the process of working on it. And I finished it and turned it in. I'm trying to rest and relax. Taking down time. And I'm careful not to take the fact that my temperament is necessary as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior. Although the last card said that my ruthlessness is necessary and about getting to the heart of things. So I guess I just have to accept who I am and the way I get things done without hurting people. But I can't back away from who I am just because it's the "right thing to do." It has to be right for me. Especially in this period of extreme productivity.
Home (2 of Pentacles)
A card about balance, often about partnership. Trying to keep two broad areas of life in balance. Two main issues are forefront in your mind. Don't worry about too many things. Multitasking is not your friend right now. Your financial situation needs to be more balanced. You may need to consider taking a risk. Focus on just two main tasks at most. If you're looking for work, focus. Do not blanket the market with applications. You and your sweetheart may be having a hard time finding time for each other. Make sure the relationship is high on your priority list, otherwise it might not be there when you come back for it. Make sure you know where you are financially. Not a great time to speculate financially. Take time to rest. Nourishment of mind, body and spirit are necessary to find any balance.
Travel related to job and profession. Be flexible in juggling many things at once. Juggling won't feel like juggling. Squeeze time in with loved ones, even though it might be hard to do. You might have more than one job and multi tasking might be necessary. A major change is ushered in.
So this is where the male and female interpretations differ. The male interpretation is saying that multi tasking is not my friend, but to just focus on two things. The female perspective says that multi tasking might be necessary if I have more than one thing going on. It's said that women are better than men are at multitasking. So maybe that's where the differences lie. But it's clear that many things are going on, I should focus on what I really want and juggle as necessary. But don't have so many things going on that my focus is diluted. It's true that I am balancing my work life and my home life and that is is definitely affecting my home life. I worry about it. So I try to make time for us. But the truth is that it's easier to focus on the work stuff because that seems to be where the energy and productivity are right now. So I take the advice seriously to focus on relationships that might not be around when I'm ready to focus more completely. Another card that mentions travel. It would be great to travel for work. That could be really fun. But this card for me is really about that work and love balance. That's a big challenge right now and one I am focusing on with a good amount of energy. I love my boyfriend and I like being with him.
Next Steps
King of Pentacles
Authority, tradition and success in money matters. Now is not the time to be a maverick. Now's the time to follow the established way of doing things. A man that I can believe in and trust absolutely. It also reminds us to be good stewards of our lives, energies and the resources available to us. An older more established man plays a major role. He's wise, fair, but quick to pass judgement. This man may become a staunch supporter of yours, even though you've not met him yet. Be prepared for scrutiny at all times. If you are unsatisfied in your relationship, speak up. Take calculated risks when it comes to money. Share your wealth where and when you feel compelled to do so. You can't take it with you. To improve health, vent negative feelings. Ritual and tradition may be comforting now. Feed your spirit, your financial life will benefit as a result.
A woman. A business contact. Pragmatic. Confidence and ability to plan and produce. You'll get help from a boss figure. An authority. This will bring unexpected recognition. You have a project nearing completion, gearing up for the next undertaking.
It's funny that the male version points to a man who's coming. And the female version is about a strong female business contact. So if I'm combining them, this woman coming into my life is wise, fair and quick to pass judgment. That sounds incredibly pragmatic to me. She might become a staunch supporter of mine, even though I haven't met her yet. Or at least I hadn't when this reading was done. Much of this reading talks about a mentor, a woman coming into my life. I met a woman who might become my manager. I have not sent her material. She might not even know I am looking. But we met, through a friend. And she's someone I've been trying to meet. So I have this knowledge and I'm sitting on it because I know the productivity to come in the next two months. I know that the time will come where this will all start to coalesce and make sense. But this woman keeps popping up in this reading and does in the next few cards.
9 of Pentacles
One of the most uplifting and encouraging omens in the suit. Financial worries are over for awhile. Things in general will be going better than I thought possible. Enjoy this energy and share your wealth and happiness with others. Happiness and success. On the mundane and inner realms. You have a great deal to be proud of and hopeful about. Expect the best to happen. You will be in a position to help those less fortunate than yourself. Pay attention not only to your material abundance but to your spirituality. If you're looking for work this points to a better job than you thought possible. You'll have a lot to be grateful for. Your relationship will raise to new heights and levels of joy. When evaluating your finances, you must look at your riches in other ways. Are you healthy with a good family life? Your financial life is about to improve, perhaps beyond your wildest dreams. Work hard. You will be rewarded. Share what you have. This too is key. You will be feeling full of vitality and hopeful and optimistic about the future. Test results will come back in your favor. Your self esteem is possibly higher than it has ever been. You are now in a position to mentor others and share the spiritual insights that you have attained.
You are alone, but not lonely. You don't need constant companionship. Self reliance is the key to prosperity. You're making your own way. You're in a comfortable position. You don't need to take on projects that don't interest you. Be true to yourself to attract opportunities.
Again, this idea that I need to be true to myself so that the right opportunities come my way. Also, I've noticed a lot in this reading the importance that sharing plays in everything going on right now. Share your resources: money, knowledge, compassion. The spiritual and material are intrinsically related. That one affects the other. I like that is one of the most uplifting and encouraging omens in the suit. A lot of good omens in this suit. I like that financial worries might be over for awhile. That's helpful. All in all, I feel like I understand this reading and that I am living it, even a few weeks later.
Page of Wands
Might represent a literal person, like a younger female. Wands people are warm, ambitious and high achievers. The energy of easy distraction. Try to stay focused. Things that you started some time ago are starting to come to fruition. Need for new things: new adventures, new approaches, new ideas. Positive energy. But we must supply the follow through. A woman who is inclined to be helpful to you at work. If you're waiting for news on a job you've applied for, the news is most likely good. The job is likely to be better than you had hoped. Money headed for an upswing. Some of what you put out into the world (good energy) is coming back to you with interest. This is a good time to start planning long term in regards to finances. Dream play be inventive: childlike.
You are looking for an agent for your screenplay. Creative seeds planted will begin to sprout. There's a message regarding employment. You might initiate a project that's completed by someone else. You're getting recognition. New opportunities appear out of the blue. Something you've applied for, you will get.
Well, I wonder what I've applied for will be coming true for me? I find it fascinating that it literally said I am looking for an agent for my screenplay. Well, I am between reps. All of these next steps point towards something great happening that will be lucrative. I'm staying true and I'm continuing to work hard. I can see that representation is on the horizon. So is getting my stuff out there. I'm just writing to make sure that I am ready for it when it comes.
Queen of Penticles
A woman with dark hair and dark eyes. You will be spending time, energy and money on your home making it comfortable. People will be looking to you for insight and/or advice. This is a period of time where you can get a lot accomplished. You are likely to make great headway now. A woman with dark hair and eyes will be an ally. If possible, bring items from your home life into your work space. Your prosperity level is very likely to be increasing. Don't hesitate to spend some of your new found wealth. Saving is important, but spending when you have the means to do so is equally important as well. Share what you have. It is critical that you trust yourself.
There is a protective go-getter of a woman coming into your life. You like practical, tangible solutions. You're building on your achievements. You're happiest in your personal space surrounded by the things you love. When paired with the 10 of Pentacles, expect a dramatic increase in income.
Well, there's a woman coming. And this woman I met had dark hair, dark eyes, and dark circles. I am sharing a lot lately. My experience especially. For me it's important. I have insight and advice and it seems like people are listening. That's a good thing because I feel it's in direct correlation to what I am getting done. I am inspired by talking to people and that has made me more productive. It feels like this reading is a lot about productivity. It's about spiritual, material, and creative abundance. I am ready for someone to come into my life to take charge and to bring opportunity. The important thing to remember, that I feel a lot of my friends with representation don't remember, is that they are the captains of their own ship. Even when it feels like the guys in white lab coats know more than we do.
Looking at this reading a second time and really adding a lot more of the information from the other interpretation of cards that's more masculine in energy really has helped. I think I was so overwhelmed and tired the first time around that I didn't pay as much attention to the information on the website. I found so much more this time around. But it is exhausting going through this. I will have to go through it again in the morning since I just spent two and a half hours on this. It was a great use of my energy, but I can feel myself fading. There will be more to come in another post.
I am grateful for spiritual insights.
I am grateful for the money to come.
I am grateful for productivity.
I am grateful to be able to contemplate my journey.
I am grateful for mentors in my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to mentor others.
I am grateful for my exercise regimen.
I am grateful for friends and supporters.
I am grateful that these messages are unfolding rapidly.
I am grateful for this information.
So here's the link to my original reading:
http://iambacktolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/tarot-card-reading-ask-for-help.html
And I'm going to go back and see what has come to pass.
Where You Are Now (Knight of Wands)
Great time for travel if you can get away. You feel charged up. Ready to get things done. Knights are message bearers and positive in work and career when it's a Knight of Wands. You have a lot of reasons to feel pride. Savor it. Make sure you're making time to talk in your relationship. That will bring you closer. Money should be flowing, but cut expenses where you can. Devote time money and energy to the spiritual causes you believe in.
What you're looking for is coming. Work without worry or concern. Get things done.
I haven't traveled much lately. But I am feeling an incredible amount of energy towards work and I'm getting a lot done in a short amount of time. It doesn't feel as much like work as it typically has. I'm very focused on a spiritual path and that seems related to my calling as a writer. I feel abundance and I feel like money is coming, although that has been slow. I am not anxious over it, which is shocking. I am calmly working very hard and happy to do so.
Atmosphere/Setting the Stage (9 of Wands)
Don't let the things you are worried about overwhelm you. Get very specific about what you're worried about and pick it apart. Pinpoint it. Comfort yourself and ask for help if you need it. Be clear about the things you can and can't control at work. This is a good time to get yourself whole emotionally. Get some space from your beloved if you need it. You shouldn't be fighting all of the time. Look at ways, even small ones, to increase your income. Meditation is important. Get lots of food, exercise and rest. Surround yourself with good people.
One last challenge before you get to your goal. Plan your next course of action. You're in a position of strength.
Yes, there is worry and concern about money. I am trying to forge ahead and figure out big and small ways I can bring in more money. I have been meditating every day, that helps. I have been trying to be good to myself. That seems to be good too. And being surrounded by good people is really important to me these days. It feels like I'm able to sense more negativity if it's around me. And I'm not standing for it. I just try to let go of the things I can't control, especially in terms of friends. I know what I need to be positive and successful. Gossip and petty behavior isn't a part of that anymore.
What I'm Supposed to be Learning This Month (The Lovers)
It usually points to romantic partnerships with one person. But it can also address the duality in all of us. Follow your heart when it comes to any hesitation or ambivalence in a relationship. You may be facing a choice or decision in relationship to work. Analyze all of your information then make your best choice. Bring love to the center of your life and rebond with your love. You will be glowing. Life will be blissful to you know, which is wonderful. Others recognize your glow. Financially, don't lose sight of the things you really must do. When it comes to health, focus on your healing energy and affirmations to become whole. A mentor may be ready to come into your life: "when a student is ready, the teacher appears."
Unexpected change in love life. Security vs. risk. You've got decisions to make.
I feel like I am in a stage in my life where I need to choose the right thing for myself. Secure choices and risky choices are being offered to me. I interviewed for a job that would be very secure and would offer me no time to write. Fortunately, the person interviewing me and I figured that out pretty quickly. I found myself in a place in my life where I could say, "No this isn't the right thing for me" without reservation. And that's a risk to basically turn down a job that you could do with your "eyes closed" (her words, not mine). But I know that I have worked hard especially this year to write full time. And people are treating me as a full time writer, which is a glow I do not want to diminish. I'm not sure what is unexpected about my love life, but I am working hard on making sure I have time for him. It's hard when your focus is so strong and it threatens to exclude that person.
The Root/The Unconscious/The Foundation I'm Standing On (10 of Discs)
Your material needs will be met, perhaps to a degree you didn't think possible. Things in general will be going extremely well. Security in all forms is at a high ebb. You have a great deal to be thankful for. Relationships of all kinds are going well. Make sure to share what you have, even a kind word. A raise in pay or a better position will come out of the blue. You are very likely to enjoy this situation. Just the right position at just the right pay will be made yours if you keep trying. Under no circumstances should you give up. Things are on the upswing, even if you see no concrete signs of that yet. Make sure your beloved knows how much they mean to you. You should have more than enough money to meet your needs. Invest in your future and save some of what you have now. Think about how you can share your peace, love and prosperity. Time to share.
Carefree time. Abundance and prosperity. Job security. Don't be afraid to take risks. Great time to be self employed. Create a base for yourself.
All of this is positive. I didn't read the part before about things being on the upswing, even if there are no concrete signs of that. I don't see concrete signs of money, but to know that things are heading in a good direction and that I can't give up is encouraging. Money is the one area that continues to feel uncertain. So by putting my energy into my office and knowing that money is coming, more than I thought possible, connected to a job better than I thought possible, is incredible. So I just keep meditating and working, knowing it will come. And this time does feel carefree in a way I haven't experienced in awhile. So I feel blessed for that. And I do need to set up my website so I can do some consulting.
The Last Two Weeks (Strength)
The importance of mind over matter. Focus on what you want to do, rather than what you don't. You have the power to harness your thoughts and use them for your benefit, as well as for others. This is a responsibility that you have. Conquer your fears, control your impulses and never lose patience with yourself or what you want to achieve. Meditation and contemplation is important. Don't spend time with fear or preoccupation. Outward things will be going all right, but keep your head on straight. If you are looking for work, know that you have the wherewithal and skill set to find it. You have more options than you typically think possible. Love should be going very well. Money should be in a positive cycle. Save some, even if it's just a little. This is a great time to control bad habits for your health. Spend time on mind, body and spirit. You are stronger than you think.
You have an internal power you need to trust in. Harmony of the spiritual and material. You have the ability to over come your own obstacles. And you need to do this.
This is a great reminder that I have the power to make anything come to fruition that I want to happen. By writing every day, I am focusing on what I want to do rather than what I don't. I was going to reach out again to a former boss about making some money, but this is what I don't want to do. I am going to trust that money is coming in the way that I want it to, through writing. So I am not going to reach out to him any further. That is scary, but that is focusing on what I want to do. It's much deeper than just wanting a job or more money. I have the responsibility to harness my abilities around what I truly, deeply, and madly want. No compromising. I have been meditating a lot and thinking a lot about what I really want (hence my blogs). My mother said a few weeks ago that things were coming to be because "you are ready." She said this with tears in her eyes. And I believe that she is right. Whatever I want I can have. I just have to push it forward and work towards it.
How Others See Me in the World (Daughter of Discs/Page of Pentacles)
Can be a card about boredom. Resist the the impulse to shake things up just for excitement. There is a better use for this energy. Great work to support you when you've got tedious work to do. Focus, backbone and wherewithal to tackle a tedious project. There's more work to be done than time to do it. Just roll up your sleeves and get busy. Slow and steady wins the race. If you need assistance to get things done, it's there for you. Love may have lost some of its luster. Work hard to get it back. Financial reward for good old fashioned hard work. No time to gamble or be unrealistic. A good time to put an honest appraisal on the value of your skills and effort. If you're not being properly compensated, now is a good time to make a change. Invest, don't spend. You don't have to get sick to get attention. Take care of yourself.
Your a student, an apprentice with boundless energy and enthusiasm. Little distinction between work and play. On a real vision quest. Idealistic. Will get good news involving clients.
I have been a bit bored lately. This is a great reminder to not create drama or excitement. There's work to be done and the excitement can happen in the work. I love it and there's plenty of excitement and attention there. Any health issues will result from emotional issues. So it's important that I take care of myself and continue to put my energy in good places. This card is about how others see me. I guess people see me as someone who's got boundless energy and is always busy. As a productive, enthusiastic, positive person who works hard. I am happy with this assessment.
The Next Two Weeks (The Crone/The Hermit)
An extremely spiritual card. Spirituality even if you are an atheist. It might indicate trying to figure something out about someone else. Ask for help with this and get several opinions if you need to. As with the Strength card (where I was two weeks before this), you might be feeling like you need time alone. Take it. This is a card about "trying to do the right thing." Just make sure that the right thing is what you need personally, not just worrying about the wants and needs of others. You are reaching the point where work success and recognition are well within your grasp. Do your best to be organized and productive. This will pay off for you in ways that aren't clear yet. Do the "right thing" even if no one is watching. It seems that romantic relationships are not a priority for you right now. If you're committed, you might have been moving in different directions for a while now. Make sure you connect to keep the spark alive. Be conservative with it comes to investments. Now is not the time to gamble. Ritual is important health wise. Of any sort. Like even going into an office every day. Any health problems might indicate something emotional, not physical. It is very likely that someone will come into your life who is a mentor or teacher, even if they don't "teach" you directly. You will still learn from them on many levels. If you need to be alone, be alone. You will emerge from this month renewed spiritually.
Searching for truth. A solitary journey. You will get into the deeper levels of your psyche.Your inner light will illuminate others. Card associated with Saturn Returns. Period of solitude is nearing completion. Increase in productivity. Success is within your reach.
My best friend gave me the use of her house while she's out of town. I have been spending my weeks here at the house and my weekends at my place. I think that has helped on a number of levels. It has given me and my boyfriend space, which I think we need (according to another card in the deck). But it has allowed me to put all of my focus where I need to put it. When I am here at my friend's place, I go to the gym in the morning a few times a week and then I'm in my office anywhere between 8-8:30. Then I mediate and I am working earlier. If I stay at my place, I am in my office by 9:30-10, which is fine. But earlier is better. Like I said before, the money and the success I don't see coming, even if they are around the corner. What I do see coming is my productivity and my work. That is where the focus has been lately. It's hard to justify spending this much time alone when you're in a relationship. And this card says I need to honor that and do the right thing for myself, even if it doesn't seem like the right thing for my relationship. We have been good about spending tim together on the weekends and if I have a free evening, I go over there. As long as I have gotten my work done. I remember when I read this for the first time, it said that ritual was important for my health. I thought it just meant running or exercising. Now I realize it means ritual of any kind. And I go to the office every day. I write every day. I meditate every day. I run every so often. I go to the gym every other day. Ritual's important because it take my mind off of things, but it also gets me to work towards my goal. As the cards said, on two different occasions, slow and steady wins the race.
Self Concept Card/ How I Feel About Myself (Shaman of Swords)
Powerful, strong, forceful opinionated man. Darker hair. You may be tempted to think only about how things affect you personally, particularly when this card does not represent a man in your life. Consider the feelings of others before you act. A very forceful energy. You may not always get a man in your life to change his mind. You may have to change something major about your behavior, thoughts or expectations. Don't overextend your reach. A man in your work environment may be talking to you in a way that you find bothersome, but you might be too sensitive. If you're looking for work, a stereotypical "man's man" might be in a position to hire you, but you will have to impress him on every level to get the job. Know where to draw the line, but don't be too quick to claim offense. You might have to accept your beloved as he is, using your feminine energy. Don't put up with being mistreated. You need to fully understand and face the reality of your financial situation. A need for generosity towards others. The rewards your reap will be worth it. Active meditations are useful now.
This card and the Son of Wands speak to each other. You're a writer. Your cutting ruthlessness is about getting rid of what is useless. You're the head of your own company. You rarely vacillate. Air signs: Aquarius. Cut away from an old idea which has outlived its purpose. Listen to your intuition. You have the intellect to get to the heart of the matter.
This card is about how I feel about myself. The more female version of this reading says that I am a writer and that my cutting ruthlessness is about getting rid of what's useless or unnecessary. That kind of describes me to a T. Does it always warm up my boyfriend to me? No. But I don't like things that are not needed. I get to the point a lot because I don't want to waste time. This also points to the masculine energy that I am getting more and more familiar with and used to. I am trying not to just let this be an excuse for me to be ruthless and to the point. I also have to think about what I am doing and saying. I have to be fully self-aware. But it also hollers back to some of the cards before this that have said that my believe in myself is of paramount importance right now and that I have to trust what I know. I have great leaps and strides I want to take and I can't take them with the aplomb necessary unless my foundation is solid. And the cards are saying that I need to strengthen the foundation because the leaps and bounds are coming.
Hope and Fear (Queen of Wands)
One of the most fertile (metaphorically and literally) and feminine cards of the deck. Can represent a literal person. Good energy to receive. When not about a literal person, about getting a lot accomplished. Often a focus on work and career. You're going to get a great deal done in a short amount of time. If you're looking for work, a woman can be instrumental in helping you find employment. Exercise moderation when it comes to finances. Make time for rest and relaxation, no matter what.
Female energy. There is knowledge and wisdom that has been brought to you. You are whole or becoming whole due to self-acceptance. Your temperamental behavior is simply a part of who you are. Don't lose that. Work is very important right now. Older woman who's going to be very helpful to you. Expect improvement at work.
I remember when I saw this, I thought that it was right on. I was working on a screenplay at the time and had to get the whole thing written in five weeks. I was starting the process of working on it. And I finished it and turned it in. I'm trying to rest and relax. Taking down time. And I'm careful not to take the fact that my temperament is necessary as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior. Although the last card said that my ruthlessness is necessary and about getting to the heart of things. So I guess I just have to accept who I am and the way I get things done without hurting people. But I can't back away from who I am just because it's the "right thing to do." It has to be right for me. Especially in this period of extreme productivity.
Home (2 of Pentacles)
A card about balance, often about partnership. Trying to keep two broad areas of life in balance. Two main issues are forefront in your mind. Don't worry about too many things. Multitasking is not your friend right now. Your financial situation needs to be more balanced. You may need to consider taking a risk. Focus on just two main tasks at most. If you're looking for work, focus. Do not blanket the market with applications. You and your sweetheart may be having a hard time finding time for each other. Make sure the relationship is high on your priority list, otherwise it might not be there when you come back for it. Make sure you know where you are financially. Not a great time to speculate financially. Take time to rest. Nourishment of mind, body and spirit are necessary to find any balance.
Travel related to job and profession. Be flexible in juggling many things at once. Juggling won't feel like juggling. Squeeze time in with loved ones, even though it might be hard to do. You might have more than one job and multi tasking might be necessary. A major change is ushered in.
So this is where the male and female interpretations differ. The male interpretation is saying that multi tasking is not my friend, but to just focus on two things. The female perspective says that multi tasking might be necessary if I have more than one thing going on. It's said that women are better than men are at multitasking. So maybe that's where the differences lie. But it's clear that many things are going on, I should focus on what I really want and juggle as necessary. But don't have so many things going on that my focus is diluted. It's true that I am balancing my work life and my home life and that is is definitely affecting my home life. I worry about it. So I try to make time for us. But the truth is that it's easier to focus on the work stuff because that seems to be where the energy and productivity are right now. So I take the advice seriously to focus on relationships that might not be around when I'm ready to focus more completely. Another card that mentions travel. It would be great to travel for work. That could be really fun. But this card for me is really about that work and love balance. That's a big challenge right now and one I am focusing on with a good amount of energy. I love my boyfriend and I like being with him.
Next Steps
King of Pentacles
Authority, tradition and success in money matters. Now is not the time to be a maverick. Now's the time to follow the established way of doing things. A man that I can believe in and trust absolutely. It also reminds us to be good stewards of our lives, energies and the resources available to us. An older more established man plays a major role. He's wise, fair, but quick to pass judgement. This man may become a staunch supporter of yours, even though you've not met him yet. Be prepared for scrutiny at all times. If you are unsatisfied in your relationship, speak up. Take calculated risks when it comes to money. Share your wealth where and when you feel compelled to do so. You can't take it with you. To improve health, vent negative feelings. Ritual and tradition may be comforting now. Feed your spirit, your financial life will benefit as a result.
A woman. A business contact. Pragmatic. Confidence and ability to plan and produce. You'll get help from a boss figure. An authority. This will bring unexpected recognition. You have a project nearing completion, gearing up for the next undertaking.
It's funny that the male version points to a man who's coming. And the female version is about a strong female business contact. So if I'm combining them, this woman coming into my life is wise, fair and quick to pass judgment. That sounds incredibly pragmatic to me. She might become a staunch supporter of mine, even though I haven't met her yet. Or at least I hadn't when this reading was done. Much of this reading talks about a mentor, a woman coming into my life. I met a woman who might become my manager. I have not sent her material. She might not even know I am looking. But we met, through a friend. And she's someone I've been trying to meet. So I have this knowledge and I'm sitting on it because I know the productivity to come in the next two months. I know that the time will come where this will all start to coalesce and make sense. But this woman keeps popping up in this reading and does in the next few cards.
9 of Pentacles
One of the most uplifting and encouraging omens in the suit. Financial worries are over for awhile. Things in general will be going better than I thought possible. Enjoy this energy and share your wealth and happiness with others. Happiness and success. On the mundane and inner realms. You have a great deal to be proud of and hopeful about. Expect the best to happen. You will be in a position to help those less fortunate than yourself. Pay attention not only to your material abundance but to your spirituality. If you're looking for work this points to a better job than you thought possible. You'll have a lot to be grateful for. Your relationship will raise to new heights and levels of joy. When evaluating your finances, you must look at your riches in other ways. Are you healthy with a good family life? Your financial life is about to improve, perhaps beyond your wildest dreams. Work hard. You will be rewarded. Share what you have. This too is key. You will be feeling full of vitality and hopeful and optimistic about the future. Test results will come back in your favor. Your self esteem is possibly higher than it has ever been. You are now in a position to mentor others and share the spiritual insights that you have attained.
You are alone, but not lonely. You don't need constant companionship. Self reliance is the key to prosperity. You're making your own way. You're in a comfortable position. You don't need to take on projects that don't interest you. Be true to yourself to attract opportunities.
Again, this idea that I need to be true to myself so that the right opportunities come my way. Also, I've noticed a lot in this reading the importance that sharing plays in everything going on right now. Share your resources: money, knowledge, compassion. The spiritual and material are intrinsically related. That one affects the other. I like that is one of the most uplifting and encouraging omens in the suit. A lot of good omens in this suit. I like that financial worries might be over for awhile. That's helpful. All in all, I feel like I understand this reading and that I am living it, even a few weeks later.
Page of Wands
Might represent a literal person, like a younger female. Wands people are warm, ambitious and high achievers. The energy of easy distraction. Try to stay focused. Things that you started some time ago are starting to come to fruition. Need for new things: new adventures, new approaches, new ideas. Positive energy. But we must supply the follow through. A woman who is inclined to be helpful to you at work. If you're waiting for news on a job you've applied for, the news is most likely good. The job is likely to be better than you had hoped. Money headed for an upswing. Some of what you put out into the world (good energy) is coming back to you with interest. This is a good time to start planning long term in regards to finances. Dream play be inventive: childlike.
You are looking for an agent for your screenplay. Creative seeds planted will begin to sprout. There's a message regarding employment. You might initiate a project that's completed by someone else. You're getting recognition. New opportunities appear out of the blue. Something you've applied for, you will get.
Well, I wonder what I've applied for will be coming true for me? I find it fascinating that it literally said I am looking for an agent for my screenplay. Well, I am between reps. All of these next steps point towards something great happening that will be lucrative. I'm staying true and I'm continuing to work hard. I can see that representation is on the horizon. So is getting my stuff out there. I'm just writing to make sure that I am ready for it when it comes.
Queen of Penticles
A woman with dark hair and dark eyes. You will be spending time, energy and money on your home making it comfortable. People will be looking to you for insight and/or advice. This is a period of time where you can get a lot accomplished. You are likely to make great headway now. A woman with dark hair and eyes will be an ally. If possible, bring items from your home life into your work space. Your prosperity level is very likely to be increasing. Don't hesitate to spend some of your new found wealth. Saving is important, but spending when you have the means to do so is equally important as well. Share what you have. It is critical that you trust yourself.
There is a protective go-getter of a woman coming into your life. You like practical, tangible solutions. You're building on your achievements. You're happiest in your personal space surrounded by the things you love. When paired with the 10 of Pentacles, expect a dramatic increase in income.
Well, there's a woman coming. And this woman I met had dark hair, dark eyes, and dark circles. I am sharing a lot lately. My experience especially. For me it's important. I have insight and advice and it seems like people are listening. That's a good thing because I feel it's in direct correlation to what I am getting done. I am inspired by talking to people and that has made me more productive. It feels like this reading is a lot about productivity. It's about spiritual, material, and creative abundance. I am ready for someone to come into my life to take charge and to bring opportunity. The important thing to remember, that I feel a lot of my friends with representation don't remember, is that they are the captains of their own ship. Even when it feels like the guys in white lab coats know more than we do.
Looking at this reading a second time and really adding a lot more of the information from the other interpretation of cards that's more masculine in energy really has helped. I think I was so overwhelmed and tired the first time around that I didn't pay as much attention to the information on the website. I found so much more this time around. But it is exhausting going through this. I will have to go through it again in the morning since I just spent two and a half hours on this. It was a great use of my energy, but I can feel myself fading. There will be more to come in another post.
I am grateful for spiritual insights.
I am grateful for the money to come.
I am grateful for productivity.
I am grateful to be able to contemplate my journey.
I am grateful for mentors in my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to mentor others.
I am grateful for my exercise regimen.
I am grateful for friends and supporters.
I am grateful that these messages are unfolding rapidly.
I am grateful for this information.
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