I'm into my meditation practice lately. I have noticed how it has made small shifts in my consciousness and has allowed me to just let thoughts pass instead of being stuck in them. I think it has given me my abundant productivity lately. I think it has helped me reduce my anxiety. I think it has allowed me to just be in the moment as much as possible and to focus on what is there versus what is not there.
Last night, I was at my best friend's birthday dinner and I was talking to her sister, who casually mentioned that she had been meditating. Not that I should judge a book by its cover, but it was surprising to me that she meditated. And it's not because she's not the spiritual type. Or because she seems a certain way to me. It's mainly because we've never had those conversations before.
And I realized that there are probably a lot of people in my life who I don't have the meditation conversation with. And the meditation conversation isn't just about meditation, it's about the things that occur to us as a result of meditation. It's about letting thoughts pass by. It's about shedding negativity. It's about living in an ultra sensitive space when it comes to recognizing the things that are blockages.
Right now in my life, I feel there are a category of people in my life who are on their way out. It's not that they're bad people. It's not that they've necessarily done something horrible to me. But it's just that our frequencies aren't matching up right now. Their rhythm is not my rhythm. A lot of it does have to do with an overruling negative outlook. And that outlook doesn't necessarily look like negativity. Much like Resistance doesn't always look like Resistance, it looks like Reluctance or Rationalization. I want to surround myself with energy that reflects where I am at right now: relentless, purposeful, excited, buoyant, loving, kind. I want people who are writing five or six scripts a year so my life is reflected. I want people in my life who are constantly asking questions, constantly reading books, constantly making themselves excited, constantly full of wonder.
When I was with the ex, I think it was incredibly telling that I left that relationship without a lot of friends because his friends became my friends. Then I built certain things back up in my life and now I have a community of artists around me who I respect. But I'm working really hard and I want to be around people who match that level, because I need to be pushed. Not always the one pushing.
I think "cleaning house" a bit is allowing me to bring that energy into my life. It is a bit of an upgrade. I'm ready to ascend to the next level. And the friends who are growing and evolving alongside me will be there. And the ones who aren't won't be there.
It's incredible to me the difference that meditation is making in my life. It's not a series of earthquakes, but a series of tremors that eventually shift the ground.
I am grateful for constant change.
I am grateful for comrades in meditation.
I am grateful for true friendship.
I am grateful for unconditional love.
I am grateful for unconditional wisdom.
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