I have a lot going on right now.
Isn't that what everyone says? At least in LA. And New York. And Chicago, Miami, Dallas, Omaha...probably everywhere. It can be hard when you're pulled in a ton of different directions. And right now, I am being pulled by this play I have to finish. And also by my father's health. We had to move him into a living care facility temporarily so he could get better. The problem with my Dad is that he's got renal failure and congestive heart failure, yet he hasn't been keeping up with his nutrition and his medicine. Now they're going to release him on Saturday and we need to, as a family, figure out ways for him to get some care at night and in the morning so that he can get stronger.
But now I find myself in a position where I have to worry about his finances and his health and continued well being. And he lives at home with my Mother, so I have to worry about her health and well being too because she's stressing herself out in a way that's epic.
And I need to carve out time for myself. I know people who think that I shouldn't even be thinking about that right now. That my place is with my family and that any petty, superfluous career ambitions should be cast to the side.
That's not how I work.
It's not just about career for me. It's my life's blood. Writing is how I perceive the world and make sense of it. So I need to protect that. I feel like that's my life lesson right now:
To make sure I make room for my voice. No matter what.
Yeah, I know that sounds all dramatic. But pushing for what you believe in and believing in your art is dramatic. It's a big deal. And I've watched people in my family give up who they are for someone else.
I just need to make sure I have room for myself. It's hard to make time for everything I want to do and everything I care about. I told my brother today that I started to sympathize with what he goes through as a parent and how he's pulled in a zillion directions. This is not fun.
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