The Juggler

I've got a lot of balls in the air right now.  I'm fine with that.

I have a friend who is always busy.  "I'm so busy," she always says.  And it winds her up.  It also puffs her chest because if she's "busy" then everything seems important.  It seems to justify her choices.  I've never quite taken that approach.  It feels good to have things to do.  But I keep most of that stress to myself.  And I'm doing things I love so it feels less like work.

For my friend, it all feels like work because it's not directed to her passion.  She's doing work for very good reasons. But it has created this sort of self-fulfilling prophecy of always working, but never being fed.  Listen, this is someone I adore and respect.  But it's not where I want to be.

I'm going to Santa Clara to do a lecture next year in February.  I'm also doing one in January about finding representation.  But the one in February is about, "What do I want to Do?"  We're calling it our pie in the sky lecture.  The idea is that if there was no limit, what would you want to do.  The funny thing that I've discovered, because I did a mini unplanned version of that lecture last year, is that it's hard for these kids to come up with those big ideas.  Because of fear.  But it's important to ask for what you want.

I'm living a life right now that doesn't have a lot of financial reward.  But it's the life I want to be living. I'm with a great guy.  We have fun together.  We make it work.  I'm writing every day.  I am able to keep an eye on my Mom and be around her.  I travel a bit.  I'm connected to my students at Santa Clara through guest lectures.  I'm working on plays.  I'm working on a pilot.  I have made choices to do or not do things based on where I want my life to be.

I don't want to be a parent (right now or ever) because I know that if I'm a parent my priorities change.  I have to make choices for that person.  I'll be all in.  I only want to make choices for myself.

So I don't feel burdened by how busy I am.  I'm not tortured.  I'm not stressed.  I'm not freaking out on other people.  I'm just busy.  And I just put one foot in front of the other.  That's the way I have to do it.  And I have a lot to keep my busy and excited and interested.  There's a lot of variety in my life right now and that's the way I like it.