I hadn't had a reading since my friend Christine read my cards in January of 2012. I wanted to do one at the beginning of this year, but never got around to it. I came over with dinner and we hung out with Susan's daughter until she went to bed. Then we chatted about life and changes and ways we wanted to progress. Then she told me that she'd bring out her cards so she could give me a tarot reading.
Susan and I went to grad school together, so she knows me pretty well. I enjoyed it. It was great.
The highlights are:
- I have a lot of passion. What I'm motivated to do, I'm motivated to do out of passion.
- I'm blocking myself. (Many of my cards were inverted)
- I'm at the end of a cycle. (There were a lot of Kings in my reading)
- Some things are stalled and I need to mediate on them.
- A lot of the reading focused on a new way of doing things. I would be working in a new way.
- Even though it feels like things are stalled, things are actually in my favor, but I can't appreciate it. I don't have that experience.
- Need to start marketing myself more and sharing more with people when good things happen. I need to celebrate the good things so I can understand that they are good and so that promotes more good things to happen.
- Trust my intuition. I know the path.
- Think of money as energy, not just as profit.
I have been on a spiritual journey. Profit is less important to me than this journey. I would say that is absolutely true. Since my Dad passed away last year and even before that--with my break up--I have been on a journey. I have stopped one way of living my life and started working on living a different way. I have been making 180 degree turns in various areas of my life. The cards told me that I had more places where I needed to flip the script. I needed to make even more changes.
Everything she told me in the reading rang true. The old way of doing things isn't working and I need to find new ways of working. In my last reading the phrase was, "The Serpent has outlived its purpose." Last year, the cards also said that I was in line with my original purpose. There's no reason I should not achieve what I want to achieve.
And this year, it seems like there is some blockage. What I have been confronting a lot this year since my Dad died is the idea that I deserve to live the life I imagine for myself. I tell a story about getting a certificate of accomplishment from the high school I ended up attending that I was in the top one percent of the scorers for the high school entrance exam. I found the certificate when I was going through my Dad's stuff last year. I don't remember receiving it. Not sure if I blocked it or if my parents hid it from me, as to not let me get a big head (as my Dad was fond of saying).
But the truth of the matter is that I haven't lived like one of the top three scorers of this entrance exam. I've lived like I was just lucky to be invited to the party. I was hanging out with some friends a couple of weeks ago and I had remarked that I needed to be less entitled. I had come from a humble background and as an adult I had a very entitled attitude because of my education. My very close friend Victor just looked at me and said, "I think you need to be MORE entitled. I don't think you realize how gifted and privileged you are." That took me back for a moment and I told him that it sounded like a good idea, but an idea I needed to digest a bit.
The cards seem to support this notion. I have been suffering through a lot of jealousy lately. Every time I go to Facebook, it seems like status updates are making me cringe with jealousy. I wasn't aware of my jealous tendencies until recently. Maybe I wasn't this jealous until recently. But every time I read that something good has happened for somebody, I get a little pang. Then I think the thing that one is supposed to think, "Good for them." But that's not my first instinct. And it has been such a strong feeling that I feel it's some sort of lesson I need to learn. And I think it goes back to what I was just talking about.
There's a saying that goes something like this: When something good happens for someone else, that means that goodness is afoot. Goodness is exponential. It's just around the corner. You're surrounded by it. My friend Susan says it this way (paraphrasing): The rising tide lifts all of the ships. So instead of thinking that because something good is happening for someone else then there will be less good for me, I should think that goodness is afoot and we're all being lifted up. I'm in the right ocean. I'm not in a lake separated by a huge land mass. I'm not on the opposite side of the country of the world. I'm in the ocean where the tide is lifting all of these ships. I'm in the right place and that means goodness is just around the corner. I'm going to start liking people's status updates in earnest. And more often.
The cards just told me what I already knew. But I didn't know the cards knew what I knew. And that was a revelation.
I just need to keep going. I am heading in the right direction. The cards from last year and this year made that abundantly clear. But some patience, mediation and visualizing (which my cards last year suggested as well) will help. And paying attention to my dreams (which last year's reading told me I should do). That's where the instinct lives unadulterated.
Time to put these changes into action in my life. And then see what happens.
And this year, it seems like there is some blockage. What I have been confronting a lot this year since my Dad died is the idea that I deserve to live the life I imagine for myself. I tell a story about getting a certificate of accomplishment from the high school I ended up attending that I was in the top one percent of the scorers for the high school entrance exam. I found the certificate when I was going through my Dad's stuff last year. I don't remember receiving it. Not sure if I blocked it or if my parents hid it from me, as to not let me get a big head (as my Dad was fond of saying).
But the truth of the matter is that I haven't lived like one of the top three scorers of this entrance exam. I've lived like I was just lucky to be invited to the party. I was hanging out with some friends a couple of weeks ago and I had remarked that I needed to be less entitled. I had come from a humble background and as an adult I had a very entitled attitude because of my education. My very close friend Victor just looked at me and said, "I think you need to be MORE entitled. I don't think you realize how gifted and privileged you are." That took me back for a moment and I told him that it sounded like a good idea, but an idea I needed to digest a bit.
The cards seem to support this notion. I have been suffering through a lot of jealousy lately. Every time I go to Facebook, it seems like status updates are making me cringe with jealousy. I wasn't aware of my jealous tendencies until recently. Maybe I wasn't this jealous until recently. But every time I read that something good has happened for somebody, I get a little pang. Then I think the thing that one is supposed to think, "Good for them." But that's not my first instinct. And it has been such a strong feeling that I feel it's some sort of lesson I need to learn. And I think it goes back to what I was just talking about.
There's a saying that goes something like this: When something good happens for someone else, that means that goodness is afoot. Goodness is exponential. It's just around the corner. You're surrounded by it. My friend Susan says it this way (paraphrasing): The rising tide lifts all of the ships. So instead of thinking that because something good is happening for someone else then there will be less good for me, I should think that goodness is afoot and we're all being lifted up. I'm in the right ocean. I'm not in a lake separated by a huge land mass. I'm not on the opposite side of the country of the world. I'm in the ocean where the tide is lifting all of these ships. I'm in the right place and that means goodness is just around the corner. I'm going to start liking people's status updates in earnest. And more often.
The cards just told me what I already knew. But I didn't know the cards knew what I knew. And that was a revelation.
I just need to keep going. I am heading in the right direction. The cards from last year and this year made that abundantly clear. But some patience, mediation and visualizing (which my cards last year suggested as well) will help. And paying attention to my dreams (which last year's reading told me I should do). That's where the instinct lives unadulterated.
Time to put these changes into action in my life. And then see what happens.
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