On the Market

I was out and about today with my friend Steve. There's an eyeglass shop in West Hollywood where him and his boyfriend get their glasses. We were out grabbing lunch and I wanted to see if they had the glasses my ex had on when I saw him at the reception for my friend's Dad who had recently passed (read my previous blog "Waking the Dead).

After not finding the glasses, but browsing around, we asked the owner to pull out what I'll just call her "look book." It's got pictures of guys who come into her shop and their stats and what they're looking for. It's the pre-Match.com way of looking for men. Pick one out of a catalogue!

I have to say that the thought of being put on the auction block made me incredibly nervous. But what made me really nervous was having to pick the guys that I like. It made me more nervous than picking what I was looking for, which was the following:

smart, funny, athletic, outgoing, healthy sexual appetite, blonde or brunette, no smokers, drinkers okay but not drunks and no drugs, ages 28-48.

It made me incredibly nervous to have to say what I wanted. I guess I'm not ready to exactly say what I'm looking for. My friends Steve and Halle had to tell me what I wanted. I know that makes me sound incredibly passive. It just felt like I was being fed to the wolves. And the wolves, in this case, are hot, in-shape, west hollywood professionals. It gets to the core of my insecurity that I can't compete with those guys. And by the way some of these guys described themselves, they know it too. These guys all want hot guys who are smart, with hot bodies, who have money and who are hung like oxes. It really felt like they were asking for the father, the son and the holy ghost.

I don't know if I'm ready to get back into the dating scene. It just feels like a lot of work. And between my full time job, trying to finish a pilot I'm writing and this new play that I will hopefully be workshopping, making it to the gym five times a week, plus dance rehearsals twice a week for this charity event, where do I fit it all in?

But on the bright side, all of that activity will probably give me the physical appearance that might snag me one of these accomplished bachelors. We'll see.