Continued Amazement

A few things are amazing me this morning. I'm amazed that I got up this morning at 5:30 AM to go with my father to buy fresh roasted New Mexico Chiles. Apparently, it's this "thing" that only happens once a year. And now I'm getting some internet time in before I head out to the Borders going out of business sale.

But what really amazes me these days are two things:

1) My life. I think about how different things were 9 1/2 months ago. I mean, that's the whole point of this blog, right? One action started this whole revolution. I broke up with someone I really loved, but who was so destructive and bad for me. (It's much easier to say that now than it was when I first started this blog. I was protecting him, but also not being totally honest with myself.) Then I ended a job that had kept me shackled for seven years. Then I started a new job that I LOVED for five months. Then that ended. Then I decided to take the rest of the year off to leave myself open to new possibilities. And even if those new possibilities just meant that I was writing every day and didn't have to go into an office and that I just focused on me - that was enough. But then life had other plans. Once you clear away all of the "noise" (I'm borrowing that term from Bethenny Frankel's book, A Place of Yes, which I actually bought and read), then you're free and clear to see and hear the plans that the universe has for you.

And that other plan was also started by one simple action. When I decided that I was going to take the rest of the year "off" (I love that I thought I'd be taking time off because my unemployment has been totally a time of busyness and business), I decided that I was going to take these three trips: Portland to see my bro, Santa Clara/SF to see if they had a need to have me come up and do a workshop and NYC to do some theatre networking. It was just an idea that popped into my head. Why don't I see if I can do a workshop since I had time on my hands. That lead to an opportunity to sub for one class. And then this week I got the call that the professor actually had to drop out. And they wanted me to teach in the Fall.

So here I am prepping to teach a class as a college professor.

So the fact that life is continuing to show me great things is amazing. But that's only because I'm leaving myself open to the possibility. And not trying too hard to know everything my life will be in the next six months. It's definitely a big step for me to just keep doing things to make things happen, but not laying a load of expectation on top of that.

2) The Drummer - The Drummer continues to amaze me. He's just a cool guy who speaks from his heart and operates from his gut. He's a guy who says what's on his mind and has wonderful things to say. I admire him for his honesty. But what touched me the other day was when I was talking about my brother and how he said he was happy for me that I'm teaching in the Fall. My brother is in a PhD program and had said that he isn't great at teaching and it's something he wants to get better at. And I had mentioned that it was nice that we had something in common. We have a lot in common, but the narrative growing up was about how different we both are. And then The Drummer said, "Yeah, but you're the special one in the family." I replied that Chris and I have both done some great things. But he grabbed my face and said, "I know. But you're the special one in your family. I can tell." And it was just one of those moments, besides getting a complement, where I felt that he saw something in me that he appreciated and was attracted to. It's great when someone acknowledges you. He seems so patient and loving that sometimes I feel like I'm the crazy one. But again, that's all noise. And I've got a lot of noise lately about the attention from him. But of course that's all I ever wanted from the Ex. I'm learning to turn that noise down so that I can continue to hear the things that the Universe is trying to tell me.

The Drummer has been nothing but encouraging of what this opportunity will unlock and he believes that it will take me where I need to go. I feel supported.