Happy Weight

When you've gained weight and happen to be in a great relationship, people say that you've gained "Happy Weight."  Happy weight.  Ugh.  I've probably gained 10 pounds since dating The Drummer.  I love him and it's terrific and all, but we're both a bit heavier than we'd like to be.  We're starting a cleanse after Memorial Day to get ourselves into shape.  It's going to be our gift to each other for our year anniversary.  We need to give ourselves the gift of great abs.  I'm feeling so not motivated lately at the gym.  I think I need to start running again.  I keep saying that, but I haven't gotten any more motivated lately.  It's about being active for me and not just being in a gym lifting something heavy over and over again.  I need to run and do yoga,  things that make me sweat.  And I need to go to the spa and I need to get massages and treat myself right.

I need my outside to reflect what I'm doing for myself on the inside.  I'm starting to cleanse myself of some pretty crappy behavior and beliefs.  It's time to cleanse my body of other toxins as well.  With all of my Dad's stuff, I've started being really careless about food again.  And it's an easy pattern to get into, disregard your own personal health because you're being someone's caretaker.  And food is comfort for me.  It's my friend.  It makes me feel good.  But I need to start changing some of that behavior.  Awareness is a beautiful thing. 

I also need more energy.  With all of the caretaking, I'm not getting as much sleep.  My sleep isn't as good as it has been.  I need my body to function more efficiently so that I can do everything I need to do.  I need to start therapy again. I know that so much is going on inside that I need to start processing that.  Therapy is very necessary.

The take away is that I'm seeking health.  I'm seeking out ways to make myself feel better.  Healthier.  I'm carrying extra weight around, extra personal baggage and I just want to shed it.  Yoga used to be highly therapeutic.  I think it could be that way for me again.  I'm feeling schlubby and I need to develop a plan to get out of that.  I want to be a powerful presence and it only takes a little effort to get there. 

Consider this "I'm Back 2.0."