My brother flew into town two days after I called him and told him that my Dad's hospice doctor told him he had two weeks to live. Even though we figured out that there's no way to know how much time my Dad has left, we do know that he's on the decline and that our time with him is diminishing. So all of the things that we said we needed to take care of, we are taking care of finally while he's still clear and lucid and with us mentally.
In the time my brother and I had together, we got his application for USAA together. We organized his living trust. We put my brother in charge of his finances. We had talks with him. I feel much more secure about having everything in place should he pass sooner rather than later.
My brother and I both realized that we had been a bit in denial that this was happening. Clearly, I"ve been with my parents a lot lately taking care of Dad. But the denial had been about my father getting better. We just thought that if we followed everything we're supposed to follow that he'll get better. Or if something was messed up that day, like his meds or food, then that was the reason he was declining. Unfortunately, when someone's body is shutting down, it can be affected negatively for no reason at all. It's hard to let go of the feeling that you can do something. And for us, food is the biggest place where we try to exert control. It's that way for everyone because we see food as fuel, as nutrition, as the element that makes us stronger, as health.
So I'm going to commit to being less in denial. To doing what's in front of me and to making sure that he has as smooth and lovely a transition into his next life as possible. Peace. That's all I want for all of us.
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