My High School Reunion

I went to my high school reunion this past weekend. It was nothing like what I expected. Here's the top five things I expected:

1. To be the prettiest one there.
2. To have some sort of "aha" moment with one of my classmates.
3. To see some fat, bald guys.
4. To leave early.
5. To laugh a lot.

Well, I have to say that most of the things I expected to happen didn't happen. I did have a great time, but it wasn't hostile or confrontational or mind blowing. It was just fun and sweet. But I will dish on the reunion and I will name names for the most part because hopefully only a select few will know who I'm talking about and where this reunion was.

Let me just debunk a few things here.

1. There were a couple of nominees for the cutest guys there. Greg Simon was fucking hot. He had a couple of pictures on Facebook years ago and one was shirtless. I always hoped he was gay, but he was hot and I don't care who reads this and tells him. He was hot. Also...there was another boy I thought was cute, but more on that shortly. But Greg Simon was tall, delicious, works out a lot and probably loves himself a ton. But that's okay. I love a man who's confident in bed...even if he's straight. Jeff Lorch was also adorable and a sweetheart.
2. My "aha" moment involves Chris Cragnotti and the fact that he was a bit lonely in high school. His best friend was Duffy Dashner, but when Duff wasn't at school, he was often alone. This kind of broke my heart, but also reminded me that we all had internal lives that were completely different than the ones we broadcast.
3. Yeah, I wanted to gossip about some fat baldies. But alas...none. My friend Sean explained this to me a few days ago...we are from LA and it's because of that that we don't let ourselves go as much as guys from, say, Omaha. Jonathan O'Donnell and Chris Sheehan had lost hair, but still looked really. It seriously brought out their smiles and their eyes. Not fair. A few guys looked a bit bloated, but that was from too much college and early twenties partying. I won't name names there.
4. We kind of closed it down. I was too busy talking with Nick Capata, the brilliant artist of our high school. He has the same aloof laugh and sweet heart and the most sweet wife. When we were in the buffet line, I said hello to him and gave me the biggest hug. I got to tell him how much he meant to me in high school and that he gave me permission to be an artist. That was kind of worth the whole price of admission. We danced...I didn't make out with anyone, but the whole thing was a hoot.
5. Yes, I laughed a ton. I laughed at Mr. Thompson who made really stupid jokes and was the same guy he was when he was in charge of us. Dan Gray, Jeff Lorch and I tried to keep from cracking up as we waited at the bar with our drinks. I had a lovely time talking to a group of wives who looked like they could have their own reality show. I wasn't surprised when a certain self-involved now lawyer had no idea who I was, but I remember that he loved to take baths. I laughed my ass off at Jamie and Cynthia and how funny they were together. Michael Juarez looks the same to me with that smart-ass smirk. I don't remember how much we talked in high school, but I laughed just seeing him from across the table and we hugged.

So when I went to lunch with my friend Sean for a pre-reunion lunch with just the two of us...he mentioned that I shouldn't get my hopes up for any romantic prospects.

I'm happy to report that he might have been wrong. Nothing happened that night, but there was definitely someone there who surprised me. For sure. All in all, a good time. Lots of drinking. I got to kiss Rhoades Rader on the lips while we were taking our class picture. But that was right after he said hello to my friend Alanna. Missed my friend Nicole, who's married to my friend John, and wasn't feeling well that night. Marcus Daly was as adorable as ever: a tender, sweet bear of a man...just the way I remember him