Not ready to date

Okay, so it's late at night and I'm listening to Darren Hayes' cover of Madonna's "Angel", which is amazing by the way.

I got back a couple of an hours from dinner with an old friend that I thought was a date. Actually, I didn't originally think it was a date until my best friend convinced that this guy was totally into me.

And now I'm at home listening to covers of old '80s songs.

It started out innocently enough, but I was totally treating this like it was a date. Or it was a date and I blew it...I don't know what's worse.

Right now I'm doing the playwriting thing well. I'm doing the taking care of my Dad thing well. I just am not doing the dating thing well. Actually, I haven't really ventured into dating town since I tried to date another friend, New Haven, all of those months ago. This is where I got tricked, this guy is super fucking hot and looks better than he did when I knew him.

Damn those guys who are peaking later in life!

This is what makes me want to retreat into my little hermit village and just be quiet. I think I also want to just take my hip hop classes and shut the fuck up. I don't know why I'm so upset about this...I just feel like a fool. This guy will be a friend perhaps. He's a really nice guy, but it's funny. It left me feeling like the uncool kid I was in high school.

Lesson: Don't try to date people you knew a long time ago. Ugh...I can feel the braces on my teeth.

Funny how you think you've gotten over things. THIS is why I shouldn't stop writing. It's when real life intervenes that I feel like I'm not ready to deal with things like dating. Then I get crazy ideas like I'm ready to start thinking about someone else in my life.

Sex is easy. It's quick and soon forgotten. But I know I don't just want sex. I want to make a life with someone. Not that I was thinking I wanted to make a life with this person...but he was hot and nice. And that's the kind of comfort food that sounded good to me.