Yeah...I'm a bit bored. I think I need to be doing more to push myself in this cleanse. I definitely think I need more exercise. I just don't feel very motivated. What I need to do is create a real schedule for myself.
This cleanse is going well. I realized that between travelling back and forth, being in a new relationship and the holidays...I've packed on ten pounds in the past 3 months. I'm not happy with the way I look right now. Fortunately, I am exercising four days a week and really trying to do something about it. But just like my life for the past three or four months, I haven't been in the competitive spirit. I've been living life as a college professor, which has been amazing and enlightening.
But, as I've said in the past, this is showbiz. Get to the gym! Put down the chips! And get down to fighting weight!
What I have done with the teaching and being with the boyfriend has really nourished my soul and has put me in a great frame of mind. I know what's important to me and I have a clearer vision of how I want to live my life. I have done away with old ways of thinking. As the tarot said, "the serpent has outlived his purpose." I have done a lot of work on myself and will continue to do more. However, once again:
THIS IS SHOWBIZ. It's not show friends, it's show business. Fo 'sho!
I need to do what it takes to get what I want in life. I want a real career. I want happiness with someone who I love and support and who does that same thing for me. I don't have time for someone who doesn't have the capacity to give me the support I need. And no one should put up with me if I can't do that for them. That's the real priority. With support and love in my life, I can soar. And when I give that to my boyfriend, he should be able to soar as well.
So with this readjustment, or recallabration, I should be able to achieve what I want to achieve. I want a happy, successful, collaborative creative life where I go back and forth between theatre work and television and film work. Both should be satisfying and reinvigorating. I want my outer appearance to reflect the discipline and confidence I have. I want my body to be healthy inside and out. If I concentrate on what I put in my body, I will have great results. I also have to focus on the information I take in. The literature I read. The ways I spend my time. None of it should be full of empty calories, just like none of the foods I put in my mouth should represent empty calories. It is all fuel...for the mind, body, soul, spirit and attitude.
Everytime I go to the bathroom I see the toxins leaving my body. That is the image I have with the areas in my life that need cleansing. I have to look at the shit, take a good long look at it, and let it go. The serpent has outlived its usefulness.
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