Feeling Romantic Again

So New Haven and I are going to the theatre this weekend. We're going to see a play I'm dying to see. It's called CIRCLE MIRROR TRANSFORMATION and it's written by a young woman who was an undergrad when I was in grad school at NYU.

I wanted to see it in NYC and I'm glad it's coming out here. So I called New Haven to see if he wanted to see it. And luckily he did. So I bought tickets online (Goldstar half priced tickets because I'm on a budget). And we're going to make a day of it. I've been trying to find restaurants to go to in Orange County. Or on the way.

I've been doing some funny things lately. Like planning outfits for my dates with New Haven. I wore a purple plaid shirt underneath a black and white striped rugby sweater and blue jeans when we went to the movies. Then I had an outfit for the hike we took a couple of weeks ago. And I kind of freeballed too. I brought a change of shirts so that I wouldn't be sweaty when we went to Father's Office in culver city to have drinks and burgers afterwards.

I'm suggesting restaurants. I'm suggesting plans. And New Haven is a man who's responsive to all of that. He's admittedly a bit of a planner, but he's open to not planning everything. He says it takes the pressure off. For me, it's a welcome bit of relief. For someone who loves coming up with things to do, I had virtually stopped coming up with any ideas because I thought they would be rejected. And they were. Then I was accused of not putting thought into anything. Then I countered with "Why don't you just TELL me what you want to do and save us time since that's what we're going to end up doing anyway?"

Wow. Is it January 2011 or any time before November 1, 2010?

I'm feeling romantic again. You know why? because I'm being heard. I have a voice in this...whatever this is. In this "thing" that I find myself involved in. It's much more beautiful than a thing, but not more important than it should be.

that's the company line. I'm not dating. I'm not ready for that. That's what I keep telling myself. I haven't spent enough time alone. I haven't processed the end of a five year relationship. I haven't mourned it properly yet.

Those are the thoughts that have been creeping into my head lately. But it is all just bullshit?

Have I suffered enough?