I had a great date w/ New Haven on Sunday. It was really easy. I'm kind of still in shock that things are so easy with New Haven. He's smart. He's cute. He's incredibly clever. And sweet. He's got a good heart and he keeps it where people can see it. That's nice.
So the deal was that I would meet him at his house and that we would drive to the OC to see this play called CIRCLE MIRROR TRANSFORMATION by this young writer, Annie Baker who was an undergraduate when I was a grad student at NYU. Annie's become this big deal writer and I've always liked her and I really enjoy her work. So since I had missed the play originally in NYC, I wanted to see it out here. When I mentioned it to New Haven about three weeks ago, he seemed game. So I went on Goldstar and bought tickets, being the bargainista that I am. I need to be. I'm a writer who hasn't made it big yet. Need to keep the finances in check.
There was a lot of discussion over what we were doing and when. It seems to be something that New Haven and I both share. I'm a planner. And I love what my ex used to call the "play by play." What? Where? When? Who? Why? How? Love to talk. Love to break it down. Love to dissect. Love to plan. The ex used to say that his whole life was planned out, being the owner of his own business and having to keep a tight calendar. So on the weekends he didn't want to plan anything. What that really meant was that he didn't want to listen to my opinion on what we should do. But in this case, New Haven likes to plan because he's usually the one in his social group that's the planner.
I think it might be a little weird/difficult for him to have someone who likes to plan things out as well. For me the understanding is that we both like to plan and I'm flattered when he decides on something. And I hope that the same is true on my end. And I think it takes the pressure off a bit as well. It's nice for someone to say, here's what we're doing.
So the play was at 7:45. We agreed to meet at 4 at his place so we would have plenty of time to catch up on the Portland trip, on what's been going on in his busy life, and just general chit chatting. I had been running around that day, so I brought a change of clothes. When I got there, I noticed that he was wearing a wool sweater. That seemed odd. It was probably around 75/80 degrees out. But being the planner that he is, he explained that he was dressing for later. I decided to risk it. I had a beautiful multi-striped shirt on with jeans.
We hit the road. So apparently New Haven had this perfect day planned for himself. The Jets game at noon. And then the theatre with me. Mr. Planner got his games mixed up and actually the Jets game was starting at 4. So he had to tease me about it because he had gotten teased. But before he teased me, he had to explain that he was in no way complaining.
And here, I discovered something. New Haven is the King of the Disclaimer. He wants to make sure he's covered and that I know where he stands as he's about to make a statement. I find that hilarious.
"Okay. Let me just say something before I say something..."
That's such a cute character thing. It's pretty adorable.
So his friends had razzed him because a) some of them were theatre guys; b) they thought it was funny that he was missing the big game for a date. But he stood up for the date, which was sweet. And I like that he told the story for the sake of telling a story. I love an anecdote. Clearly. I'm writing a blog and am currently telling an anecdote.
How meta.
So in my effort not to be SO planned out, I hadn't decided firmly on a dinner location, but I had a few different ideas.
Sidebar: Okay, so I guess it's not like I had ONE plan. I had several. So that's actually uber planned out, not not planned out.
My first idea was a place that friends had recommended called Memphis, which was Southern and about five minutes from the theatre.
If he didn't like that idea, here's what I had planned:
- North Woods Inn: it's a mini chain in LA that is mainly in the San Gabriel Valley and it's a steakhouse. My parents took us there as kids because they had all inclusive meals that included: your main entree, two salads ( a chopped iceberg w/ Roquefort and a red cabbage slaw served with a vinegarette, cheese bread, rice pilaf AND a baked potato loaded up with sour cream, chives and cheese butter). At around $25-30 an entree, not inexpensive, but not outrageous given a place like Maestro's or Cut in Beverly Hills. There are also cheap drinks and peanut shells on the floor. Again, did I mention that this was the fancy place we went to as kids? It was on the way to the OC, so about 30 minutes from the theatre. But it would have been a fun option.
- When in Rome: The OC is the land of the chain restaurant. Buca da Beppo, Maggioni's, Black Angus. I was happy to do a bit of a themed "Date Night in the OC." Because that's where people would go.
- South Coast Plaza: South Coast is a mall, but it's one of the fanciest malls in the world, housing Chanel, YSL, Versace and Gucci. So the restaurants are a bit more upscale. Still, they're in a mall. But again, When in Rome Part II.
Fortunately, when I said "southern", New Haven went for it. He's from Virginia. So we had a pleasant drive down there. He got his Football/Theatre story in. We debriefed from the week. He had some great news on a work thing that happened during the week, so we debriefed from that. I don't know why, but I didn't tell him that I had read the script for the project that brought about the good news during the week. I figured we'd talk about it later. I was just excited to be spending time with him. It had been a week and a half. We chatted about my Portland trip, which in a nutshell was: "It was really relaxing. I had family time. I got to play with my niece. I went out a couple of times and I worked out. Didn't think about work."
We got to the OC in about 45 minutes. He took a route I wouldn't have taken, but one that was a smart route. I really had to hold back from my bossy nature and let him be the driver. And it was the smarter route versus the one I would have suggested. I'm finding that I don't have to speak up to prove that I'm right these days. Maybe because THIS isn't a competition. Interesting.
We get to the restaurant. It was the perfect place. We arrived at Happy Hour, which is 7 days a week. They had a Sunday special. It was great. We negotiated the sides we were getting as not to overlap. I got a Mint Julep, since I won't be taking my annual trip down to Louisville this year. I had to have a julep, but without the crushed ice, it was just a watered down mess.
Sidebar: I like this guy a lot. Sometimes I think because certain things remind me of my ex and I doubt myself because of that. And also because I JUST got out of a relationship. But does the fact that they are both smart, funny, articulate, kind (my ex was kind when there wasn't other shit getting in the way) mean that I should cross smart, funny, articulate and kind off my list? NO.
We finish dinner. We split the check, which I was happy about. I was worried he was going to try and pay for dinner because I had gotten the theatre tickets. But, as I explained when he asked me how much he owed me, he had something really great happen this week and I wanted to commemorate that. He had taken me out to dinner to celebrate my new job the week before. It's nice for BOTH parties when one party decides to do something for the other. You don't want to rob someone of the opportunity to celebrate you. It's a lesson I'm learning. I like it.
We picked up the tickets and on our way to the Westin to have a pre-show cocktail, I run into my friend Jami who drove down with her bf and friends from LA. Funny that. And her and New Haven both went to Yale. Not at the same time, but I thought that was a funny thing.
We then saw the show. You can read the reviews if you want to know how it is. But we both enjoyed it and on our way out, New Haven went to the bathroom. He then ran into someone in the bathroom. Okay, I know we're gay, but I don't mean it like that. There was no foot tapping. He ran into an old friend. A theatre director, as a matter of fact. They hadn't seen each other in five years or so. And the director was there with his wife. And in this moment, I kind of felt like we were a couple. We were chatting with his friends. I'm a playwright, so we talked about that. We all chatted about the show. I know the writer. I know the artistic staff at the theatre. I'm trying to get them to do plays of mine. They talked about the show that New Haven was "brilliant" in. And I don't mean that in quotes to mean allegedly. I put those in quotes to actually QUOTE. Then that made me curious to see him in a show.
We were all parked across the street at the mall. So we're walking and talking and then New Haven put his arm around me. While we were all chatting about all things theatre and such. And that's the moment when I really felt like a couple. I'm not saying that we are a couple. But the "couple feeling" was there. And I liked it.
So I know that I said several posts ago that I didn't want this to become the New Haven show. It almost seemed like it would defeat the purpose of what this blog is supposed to be about. But just because I left a destructive relationship doesn't mean that I don't want to be with somebody. yes, this is happening a bit sooner than I would imagine. I don't know where it is going, per se. But I like the direction.
On the way home, talk went to the schedule for the week and what time I had to be at work. And here's the place where I felt like I blew it. I deliberately did not bring my computer or clothes with me to New Haven's because I didn't want to be presumptuous. And this is where I would have benefited from embracing the planner within. But I was being shy about having a night bag packed and if the opportunity arose, being able to say, "Actually, I CAN spend the night because I brought my stuff with me just in case." But I backed down from my initial instinct. So we actually haven't spent a night together.
And I just mentioned it when we got together for a drink last night. And that made me feel a bit like the pusher. Like we HAVE to spend the night together the next time we see each other. I am dogsitting for Steve and Vic this weekend. And they specifically (and rightfully) asked me not to have any guests over. And by guests they specifically meant New Haven ONLY because they haven't met him yet. So I'm going to respect that. But I'm almost not jonesing for it. I mean, I AM. But I'm not being obsessive. Part of me feels like it will happen and it will be great. And that there's time. But there's part of me that's also looking forward to it with great anticipation. So it's not like there isn't any sexual chemistry there and I don't care. It's just that I'm not pulling my hair out because I know it will happen eventually...and soon.
So all in all, a great Sunday night. I'm taking it all as it comes. There hasn't been this rush to see each other every night or to obsessively send emails back and forth. We're both busy at work. And I think (this is just a theory, I make no claims to knowing ANYTHING) it's a good sign. It means we're still ourselves. And when we get together it's nice. But I'd be fooling myself and anyone who reads this if I said I didn't want to get in the nook. I want to be in his arms. There are no two ways about it.
He's a great kisser. And there have been copious amounts of kissing. If that is even a proper way to describe LOTS O' LIP LOCKING.
Next date is this Saturday. I guess I'd better get to planning.
Or not.
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