The Handsome Brit Returns!

I had stopped going to my regular gym in the mornings because my favorite, Handsome Brit, had suddenly disappeared. If you remember several posts back, we had this thing going. He came to work out with his trainer on Monday/Wednesday/Friday while I was working out by myself. Then I skipped a few days and by the time I returned, he was GONE! Heartbroken, I kept telling myself. He couldn't bare to see the place where I once squatted, lunged and pressed.

But I told myself, if it was meant to be...if WE were meant to be, then Lover would come back to Me! Another incentive for me to stop going to the other gym was that I ran into my ex's best friend and my former workout partner with my ex's assistant. It was just annoying.

So I started going to the gym near my office, which is actually much nicer in the mornings. There's easy parking and the guys are all hot. They are all STRAIGHT, but I need something to look at in the morning.

Like this morning, for example, there was the hottest guy (blond, model face, thick pouty lips and pecs). I wanted to lick the sweat off of those pecs. He was breakfast, lunch, dinner and my midnight snack. Halleloo! And he was wearing these tight little speedos because he was swimming outside. He kept rubbing himself. Then he started doing stretches in the sauna so I could see his ass. Then he pressed up against the wall and raised his arm over his head so I could see his yummy manicured arm pits...it was porn. This guy knew exactly what he was doing and what he was doing was giving me bone. It was borderline inappropriate, but completely welcomed. And when he left, he smiled at me.

And now that I'm this new assertive me, I looked back. I smiled. I flirted. I followed him out.

Wait. Now I'm thinking that this new assertive me is a stalker. When did I cross over into stalkerland?

Anyway, so before I followed out Speedo guy, I ran into my Handsome Brit. I was coming out of the shower and he walked past me. "Wait, is that...? Could it be? Are we supposed to...FATE! It's fate!"

So I went back to the bathroom (classy), where he was washing his hands and I pretended to run into him randomly again. He is still charming and he still is sweet. I still haven't been able to open my mouth enough to suggest we grab a drink. But he looked better than I remember. Maybe it was the bathroom lighting at the Universal LA Fitness. Maybe it's that I've been on this cleanse and everything looks better to me. Maybe it's just that I haven't been properly laid since my breakup and I had previous morning wood going on from our friend, Speedo Guy.

But I gotta hit that. And soon, before the window closes.