Wednesday's Kick Ass Workout

I'm feeling sexy after my workout this morning. And it's not because I had sex and the gym. Sorry, Howie.

I had the experience of catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and not realizing that was me (for a quick moment).

Yes, my body is looking better than it did before the cleanse. And way better than before the breakup. So on a purely aesthetic level, I'm looking food. But I think what caught me by surprise was how much I looked like an athlete. An athlete is confident, strong, assured, and focused. And you can see it all over his face. So it was my face that looked different.

I pushed hard. It was back and biceps today. So my bi exercises really hurt. I felt it. I struggled with the pull ups and chin ups, but every time I came up, I felt like I flew up on that pull up bar.

I then ran, just for five minutes to get a little cardio in and to keep the heart rate up.

And tonight I've got hip hop class, which I also did on Monday. It just feels so good to be drenched at the end of the work out, whether it's dance class or strength training. And hip hop is just fun and for me. It takes me back to my dance days in college. It's nice to go to dance class and feel like I'm getting the routines and that I'm not ashamed if I don't get it right away (that's how I felt in college all of the time).

So speaking of college days, I actually have the body now that I wish I had when I was in college and dancing. I have strength I didn't have then and focus I didn't have then . My body just wasn't used to movement and being athletic. But at the end of class on Monday, my instructor asked the whole class who would be willing to do a dance competition with other gyms in the area for charity. And my first thought was, "YES! Absolutely!" It's going to be interesting going to rehearsal again and putting together a routine. I haven't rehearsed for a performance in a long time.

I never considered myself an actor. I was in the theatre department in high school and college and loved it. But I knew I didn't have that talent in me. Or at least at the time it felt pretty clear. But when I stepped on to the stage as a dancer, I came alive. Because I didn't feel strong enough then, I didn't feel like it was something I could continue to pursue professionally. I just wasn't at that level and it felt like I had so far to go. But I loved rehearsing. And I loved solving the problem of getting my body to do what the choreographer showed us and what my mind really wanted to achieve.

It's just another way that I'm coming back to myself and it's all because I'm in that gym every day. Or I'm running. Or I'm in class. This is what's going to get me through life, this cleanse and the moments when I doubt myself. I truly understand now what people get from running. It's pretty amazing.