Cleanse: Day Six

Oh my cravings!

Today was all about cravings. I wanted to jack off fifty times. I went to Fresh and Easy and wanted red velvet cupcakes and gelato and a hamburger and cheese and nachos and tacos and...can we just get off the subject?

Then I realized that I do need something satisfying and festive and yummy. Tomorrow is the Oscars and I should watch it and not feel totally deprived. So I got some baked tortilla chips made with sea salt. And I got some ground chicken to make meatballs, since I can still have bread until tomorrow (they are made with breadcrumbs). Then I wanted to make a seven layer dip, but I can't have cheese or sour cream. So I got some organic pinto beans in the can (made with pinto beans, water and sea salt - no preservatives) and I'm going to cook them down and make them refried beans (no oil). That's layer one. Layer two will some smoky hot sauce from my mexican deli (made fresh), layer three will be guacamole, layer four will be olives, layer five will be fresh pico de gallo that I made. And that's it. So it's a five layer dip. That's just fine. I'll do a crudite with a chickpea dip. And then I'll watch the oscars with my pellegrino and lime. But at least I won't feel like I'm missing out.

I needed comfort today. Partially because I still miss the ex boyfriend, but I didn't cry today. I just tried to focus on positive things. That's sometimes hard to do. I spent a good part of the day not talking to anyone. I just needed to be in my head a bit. I've got some writing to do and it's helpful to have a cone of silence. I'm probably going to wait out this cold weather and go to the neighborhood Starbucks and get some writing done. It feels like a good night to do that.

I'm waiting for the pounds to melt away. Maybe that will start happening once I start cutting out chicken, soy, sugars, and flour this week.

Oh, also went to the Korean market today. They had a ton of sashimi already cut for 10 bucks. It must have been close to 30 pieces. I know what I'm eating next week.