When I was with my ex, I used to shave my balls maybe every three weeks. Now that I type that, that sounds disgusting. No wonder it didn't work out. Just kidding.
Yes, I truly believe it was all about the lack of manscaping.
And I have these really hairy pits that I never trim. My reasoning was that I still picture myself as 105 lbs dripping wet. So I think that the five o'clock shadow and the stubbly balls and the Sasquatch pits make me more manly. But maybe it's time to reframe my way of thinking.
I'm single now. My breath has to smell nice at all times and I have to look trimmed and coifed when I'm getting my coffee or going for a run or at the gym.
Every moment is a potential opportunity to meet a man.
I feel like Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, has an eye on me. Big Sister is watching.
But it does feel that way a bit. Like I'm now on the market. So I can't get lazy like one is prone to doing in a relationship. I've kept my body kind of together. And now it's time to take it to the next level: abs, pecs, shoulders, arms. I'm a runner and former dancer, so the legs are good. And I guess the next thing is figuring out what to manscape. And how much.
Because we've all seen those guys. The eyebrows that are too thin. And the supertrimmed arm and leg and chest hair. And some of those guys are straight! I like my manly details. But I guess I could stand to be a little less manly in some ways. Sometimes that's more about taking the trimmers to the arm pits than it is about blasting Liza from the speakers.
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