Last week was a bit of a lonely week. I need to remind myself to reach out. So I reached out to my friend Nicole to see about getting together. We both decided to meet up at a Yoga studio in South Pasadena for a $7 class. I've been meaning to get back into a yoga practice. As some people might know, I have taken a Naked Yoga classes in West Hollywood. I quite enjoy the yoga. But this seemed like a good opportunity to meet up with my friend Nicole.
Nic and I have known each other since college. We both grew up in LA and went to Northern CA for school. So this seemed like a good activity for us to do together. She's been getting into yoga and I've been trying to get back into it. And the price was right.
So we get to the yoga studio and we meet up with this lovely instructor named Natasha. Natasha happens to be the name that my parents always said the had in case they had a daughter. Not that it's important in this situation, but I always have a response to that name whenever I hear it.
Natasha starts class and she says that she's going to pick a word for us to focus on. And that word is WILL. The word for WILL in sanskrit is ICCHAA. She started talking about how we need to push through things using our "icchaa." That sometimes we think that we can't do something, but it's our will that gets us through. Then she talked about the "wall." It's that feeling that you hit when you run a marathon. You "hit the wall." Well, now my ears were perked up because I've run a marathon and I've trained and I've hit the wall several times. It's that feeling of being blocked. And you have to hit through the wall. You have to keep running.
Sometimes that wall is sore legs. Sometimes it's a feeling that you can't go on. Fatigue. But it is mental. It's that concept of "mind over matter." And there's no where I've tested that concept more than running. It's a great visual image of hitting and punching through the wall. And it's great to feel it in your body, when you push through the wall. It kind of drives the lesson home because you FEEL it rather than just think about it.
"I should do that."
"I've been meaning to."
"I know that I'm lazy. I need to get motivated."
It's about doing. Not thinking or planning. Doing.
So back to Natasha: So she says we're going to focus on "icchaa" in this session. When we think we can't do a position or that we can't push it any further, that we should use our "icchaa" to push through. Got it.
Class starts and I'm doing all of my stuff.
Downward Dog: feels fine.
Plank: I do a lot of push ups at the gym, so I'm good to go.
Cobra: All right. I'm not totally warmed up yet and there's a tightening mid spine, on the left side. Paying attention to that.
Warrior 1: I've got this. My body is sweating so I'm trying to keep from sliding.
I'm twisting when she's telling me to twist. I notice that my back is especially tight. But I'm pushing through. I'm breathing...
She then tells us to keep pushing. When you don't feel like you can bend more or get down in a deeper stretch, THAT'S when you need to use that icchaa. When your foot is sliding from sweat, you need to ground yourself. Plant yourself in: icchaa! When you're holding the crocodile pose or the tree pose or Warrior 3: icchaa!!!
Everything was about using that will power to go deeper to take it to the next level to embrace the fact that sometimes you're a tree on a windy day. But that you need to come back to center. Connecting the practice to the sense of calming one's self and getting centered made a great deal of sense to me. Usually I get the spiritual stuff at the beginning and the end, but never throughout. This was connecting it all completely through in a way I hadn't experienced in my yoga practice before.
And this is the thing about will: you realize how strong it is after you've been tested. So my poses were all stronger than they had ever been, even though I hadn't taken a class in a while. My balance was amazing. My fear was less. My confidence in holding poses was strong. I smiled the whole time through class, especially when it got difficult or painful. I sighed and let Natasha know that it was tough. I breathed through it. I brought joy and light into my practice.
Needless to say, I loved class. Nic and I are going to go every Saturday. The $7 class is with rotating teachers. But Nic has enjoyed everyone she's taken class from. I really connected to this practice, so I'm going to try and see if I can make it to Natasha's classes, depending on when they are.
It was a good check in. My body is strong. My icchaa is strong. And my mind is strong. I'm getting through this. I've been missing my ex like crazy lately. And I know that because I'm getting over him, the impulse is strong. His presence is strong within me. But I'm sweeping the floor of all remaining dust. Now it's in a pile in the middle of the floor and I'm taking one last long look at it, to see how much dust has gathered before I sweep it up and throw it out with the trash.
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