Farewell Recap: My Work

As a part of my farewell to this blog, I'm doing a bit of a recap of where I am on certain subjects. And when I'm finished, just like I did when I broke up with my ex, I'm gone.

But I promise to leave my forwarding address...which will be another blog about something besides my now 8 month old break up. I think it's time to move on.

TODAY'S SUBJECT:

My work

My work...meaning my writing...meaning my playwriting, I guess.

I've written some of my most affecting plays while working through a relationship or being mad at someone. I wrote a play right after grad school called DEEPER THAN THE NIGHT, which was about a relationship that was failing due to drugs, alcohol and sex. That's because I was in a relationship that felt like it was going implode any minute. Then I wrote a play about my grandmother a few years ago in which I was trying to work out my own issues with my Dad. And now I've got THE SNAKE CHARMER, which has a lot of stuff in it that's influenced by the ex.

I always say that I write in order to understand my world...it's my lens through which things get filtered. It's always better when I have real source material in my own life or when I can find that. I've been writing this blog in order to help me understand all of the changes that have been happening in the past 8 months. And anything I write usually has some sort of theme that runs through it that's consistent with what I've written before. or I'm going through something, which is kind of what's happening with THE SNAKE CHARMER.

In this play, I'm basically writing about objectification - what happens when the image of something becomes more important to a person than the thing or person or situation itself. I believe this happened during my relationship. The idea of a boyfriend was greater than my ex actually having me in his life. The companionship was comforting and having someone with my pedigree and my physical appearance reflected well on him. But the work of the relationship - the trust, the day to day, the emotional component - became too hard. For both of us. He's not the only one to blame for that. And the play's also about imbalance - whether that's due to race or class or station in life or age even. All of these things have resonance in my life, both in the recent past and in the distant past as well.

I'm in the process of editing the play right now so I can send it to some theatres this month. And what I'm listening for is how true the characters' voices and the situations ring for me. And I feel I have a lot of places to draw from.

My approach to my work has changed since the break up. I have had a strong need to get back in a rehearsal room and be around a community of actors. So that's what we did with this most recent workshop. And I feel the need to be closer to my playwriting work, to devote more time consciously to it because that's where I feel my voice sings. I've been so worried about making a name and making money that I really have not been paying attention to my creative voice. I've had the ear of people who aren't creative who are trying to advise me that I've keeping away the voices of people who are supportive and who do care about me. And a good majority of those people are theatre people. I want to do the work and be involved in it - that matters more than money to me. Although making money is a completely separate endeavor. They are not mutually exclusive ideas, but I can't try to get from film and TV what I NEED from theatre. That I've learned...and it has taken me a long time to learn that lesson. But I think I'll be happier because of it.

There's one thing I've always hated and that's writers talking about writing. However, given the changes that have gone on this entire year, my work has become more important than ever. Not just for distraction sake, but it's my voice. And the running theme has been to pay more attention to MY voice. It's also the lens through which I understand my surroundings. And that has been more important than ever. I've got another workshop of a play called CURSE OF THE ASIAN CHILD coming up in the Fall. And I'm hoping to get back to another play that I wrote about cancer and tiger penises. And there's this play I've been dying to write for over a year about a band sitting down to make their next album. And I'm looking for collaborators to do that with because I do want to include original music. So there's a lot of work to do, work that will keep me busy at least for the next year. And after that, I have no other ideas, but I feel I need to get these ideas funneled through so that I can then start incubating the next ideas that will enter my head.

But THE SNAKE CHARMER has legs...I know that. And the ASIAN CHILD play's got some bite to it as well. I'm very excited about both of those because they're hefty subject matter. The ASIAN CHILD play is so dark that it's got to be funny. It's just too dark not to be. But it's also painful and sweet and sad. I've got a draft of it that is okay. It got some good response when I sent it out a little while ago. Each child is different. Some of my children tend to be a little quirky and weird...they've got various dance elements to them. And some of the kids are more straight forward. Some are funny and some are dead serious...THE SNAKE CHARMER is probably the least funny play I've ever written. It's got a different kind of charm. But it's exactly what it has to be.

So to recap in the recap: My Work goes on and gets deeper as I get deeper.

Whoa...that's deep.