Dating is like Netflix

I was at Outfest yesterday, which is the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival held in Los Angeles every year with my friend Susan for the screening of a film called THE GREEN with Cheyenne Jackson, Illeana Douglas and Julia Ormond. It was a very well done drama about a gay high school teacher who gets accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a student with a troubled family background. It's about class issues and this sort of liberal attitude that often masks some very traditional values when push comes to shove. I liked it a lot. And at the center of it was this very sweet gay relationship which gets pushed to its limits.

And of course everything reminds me of my relationship with my ex (I will be glad when I'm done with this blog in part to stop relating EVERYTHING to my ex). I realized that I really miss that sort of intimacy. I miss having a person to cuddle with in bed. I miss bugging someone when you want attention. I miss that sort of funny interplay that happens between couples who have been together for a while. I see the same thing between Jeffrey Alan Marks and Ross Cassidy on MILLION DOLLAR DECORATORS on Bravo. Yes, those two men are the model version of a gay relationship; but there's a certain self-effacing quality about the relationship. There's a comfort, but at the same time, a "I'm not going to let you get away with that" attitude. And that I miss. This dating thing that I'm embarking on is daunting and scary. I really don't want to do it. I just want the perfect guy for me to show up on my doorstep. Like Netflix.

I guess you could say that I'm building my queue.

And based on my choices, friends suggest other people I should go out with. Oh...friends! I was out at the after party with Susan and we ran into about four or five people we know. I ran into my friend Jen who used to run this reading series I used to go to on Tuesdays. Then we ran into our friend Kelly who is the Literary Manager at South Coast Rep and she was with this guy Greg who I had a meeting with years ago. And then Greg introduced me to another friend of his, Jeff, who is an actor and very cute. He might be a little actory for me. I've always said I'd never date an actor. But Susan married Clayton and he's an actor and they're happy and having a baby. Actors tend to be a little too "on" for me. Although my best friend, the first actor I've known personally, doesn't exhibit any of the stereotypical needy qualities that other actors have. She set the bar high for me when I was 11 and even as she's gotten older and more successful, she's not a pain in the ass.

So I sent an email out to Jeff seeing if he wants to go out. Then Susan's going to inquire about her friend Paul, a screenwriter, because according to her, he was checking me out. Then I've got this day time date with another guy named Jeff tomorrow. Then who knows? More dating ahead! And based on how these go and discussions with my ever expanding group of friends (those who I'm spending more time with and those I'm reacquainting myself with as well as new friends), I'm sure there will be more boys in my queue. And eventually I'll get closer and closer to a more perfect fit. I just have to get enough guys in the queue so that the system (i.e. the universe)will make a more informed choice. More to follow on that. Maybe in one of the new blogs I want to start writing.