There are these two new apps that have swept the gay world. And I know there are other bloggers who have spoke out about them before: Grindr for the iPhone/iPod Touch and (the newer) Encountr for Android.
I never thought they would be conduits for greater communication of a non-sexual kind, but they've turned out to produce some interesting results. It's like when you have a kitchen appliance and you realize "Wow, it does THAT too?!" Amazeballs!
I've definitely met guys to hook up (I'm ALWAYS careful, folks). And I've always felt weird about the on-line dating thing. But somehow this seems much more efficient, and therefore more doable. Basically people can locate you based on their proximity to your location. It makes hooking up easier. But it also lets you know who's nice to talk to in your area. Or who shares your interests. I mean, you have to put a little more effort into it if you aren't just looking for a bj. And I've always been skeptical of the guys who are "just looking", or "have a boyfriend, so not looking to hook up", or want to "just get coffee first and see where that goes." I don't like that immediate resistance to casual, easy sex. I find it judgmental, especially on a site that's mainly for sex. It's like saying, "I'm not like THOSE people." But you are. And if you aren't, then go to Match.com if you want friends. Or better yet, join a book club or swim team or Habitat for Humanity or a softball team or go run a marathon for an AIDS charity.
I've done MOST of those things. Well, I've run a marathon for APLA. I was a part of a writers' group, which is LIKE a book club kind of. And I have done stuff for Habitat. So there!
Here's the thing that happened that was unexpected. I started talking to guys, about sex, to see if we're compatible. And then we realized that we were witty or liked the same things in bed or had the same cultural references or had the same complaints about guys online. In other words, we had chemistry. And if you have chemistry, then you're going to be good in bed together. And maybe as friends. I'm certainly not looking for a relationship right now. And I'm not sure if I'd look for that online. The jury's still out on that. I'm old school.
But it has been a bit like those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. You start out in one place and end up completely somewhere unexpected. I met this guy who lives 1775 feet from where I'm staying and he was great. I was heading out on a run and he was walking his dog. I walked him to his corner and I think we're going to meet up for coffee or at least some dirty roleplay. Options.
And then there's this other guy who I met through one of these apps. It was a full-on sexual flirtation all the way. We were going to do dirty things to each other. And different circumstances kept us from meeting up. He left town for the weekend. Then he had emergency dental surgery. But I ended up finding out that he had a relationship that had similar aspects to mine. But it ended tragically.
I'm not sure if that's the universe sending me a message that I need to reach out to my ex. Or that it sent me someone who could be a voice of reason or give me some perspective on what's going on right now. But this guy and I shouldn't have even been in contact. The app's satellites were off. It said we were 2 miles away from each other and he ended up being more like 7 or so miles away. And I randomly reached out to him.
God works in mysterious ways. I keep hearing my mother's voice in the back of my head. And she's still alive and loud, so it literally could be her voice.
If God delivered his message through prostitutes, he could certainly do it through gay sex apps. Right?
I don't know where that will lead. I'm clearly not looking it to lead somewhere serious. And I wasn't looking for it at all. He wanted to have dirty sex talk. That was enough for me.
But this whole thing could lead to some sort of revelation. That's the most shocking part of all.
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