Time on My Hands

My friends and I happened upon this show on Logo called "1 Girl 5 Gays." We immediately started making fun of it.

Here's the Premise: 1 straight girl plays 20 Questions with a revolving cast of 5 gay men.

It's like a party when all the guests haven't arrived yet and someone decides it's time to play a game. Like 20 questions. Or sadder, a party where only five other people show up. And they're all smart alecy gays who live in the East Village. Although I think this is filmed in Canada. And it's like the cheapest production values ever. Like Public Access.

It's not like it perpetuates any stereotypes, although most of the gays are really queeny. And it's not offensive. Unless you call milquetoast gays offensive. Or if you find offensive the types of gays who would allow themselves to show up to a bad party thrown by their lonely ethnic fag hag friend who wears too much eye make up. And the questions aren't really of any consequence. It's no McLaughlin Group.

But that would be GREAT. A gay McLaughlin Group filled with a cast of variously aged gay men who have different political views due to how far before or after gay liberation they are. Now THAT would be "Fierce TV" (Logo's slogan).

And what makes this show weird besides everything that I just mentioned above is the fact that there are these little snippets inbetween that illustrate the next question. Like a guy in a shirt that gets tighter and tighter and eventually disappears is shown before the following question is asked: "How do you know when a shirt is too tight?"

Crickets.

Although I would enjoy if they added a tag to the end of each question.

"Who on the panel do you think is the most vain? DISCUSS!"

"Which cartoon character does the person on your right remind you of? DISCUSS!"

"How do you know when a shirt is too tight? DISCUSS!"

Better already.

I guess the thing that irks me about the show is that it's really not about anything. You're literally watching a random group of 5 gays answer questions about random topics in no particular order and with no particular theme, rhyme or reason.

It's not like there's a topic. Even my beloved SNL sketch, "Coffee Talk" was about something. And it was much shorter. What if they just re-enacted old "Coffee Talks"?

DISCUSS!

So I watched about two or three episodes and you know what happened? I got a little obsessed. So much so that I'm devoting a whole blog post to it. And a big one. Then I realized that maybe I have too much time on my hands. I'm "home" alone, after finishing a microwave meal, and watching Logo when I could be at Rimjob at MJ's in Silverlake. Or I could be working out. Or doing yoga stretches. You know something productive. But here I am watching this roundtable of gays discussing nothing.

Or...

Maybe it's not time yet. I mean it's only been five weeks. I was about to say that maybe I should go out on a date. I've gone out with friends. That's been fun. But maybe an actual date. I mean, clearly my ex-boyfriend is moving on. He's dating 25 year olds! Who clearly fit the profile. And when I say "profile" I mean he's got a type. Young (or young looking), brown, with longish hair. And for the most part it doesn't bother me, and I'm kind of revealing my hand here, but it did. It shouldn't have and it was so fucking cliche and expected. But it did. It bugged me. It bugged the mother loving shit out of me.

If you want to read my more rational reaction, you can read an earlier post.

And I'm totally happy where my life is. And how not complicated certain aspects are. I love that I don't have to pretend that things are great between us and that he's just surly. And I'm glad I don't have to romanticize his surlyness anymore.

(deep breath)

Okay. SO...If my personality was a city, what city would it be? Venice. Italy. And not because it's sinking. But because it's a city you can get lost in. But it doesn't make you nervous. It just makes you turn around and want to explore more of the city. It's unexpected in its beauty. And it's near the water, continuous. And it looks best in it's own natural light. It glows. It's a never ending fairyland of discovery, mystery, beauty and intrigue.

Maybe I should invite someone to Venice.

No jokes about exploring my canals. Or my c-anals.

Okay?