Is My Groove Back?

Or Horndog Friday.

I don't know what it is this morning, but every guy I see looks like he's slathered in bacon fat.

Cause I wanna eat 'em.

Just checking. It's Friday. We're all a little slow on the uptake. I was at the gym this morning.

Yes, I realize I'm at the gym a lot. Sometimes exercising my body, sometimes exercising my dirty mind, sometimes exercising isolated body parts.

So I was at the gym and everyone looked good. There was the 20-something who had porcelain skin, dark shaved hair, and looked like a little fireplug. He also had the most beautiful blue eyes and bright lips. And he kept looking at me.

Then there was the guy in the sauna who was kind of a surfer type. Brown hair, bronze skin, six pack and just wearing navy workout shorts. He kept looking at me too.

And there's the guy who I see every so often. Silverfox. Pinkish skin. White hair. Bright blue eyes. He's always "shaving" in the steam room. I know that he looks at me.

So this is due to one of two things: Either, these guys are as horny as I am and feel the sexual chemistry at 7:45 in the morning.

OR...because it's only 7:45 in the morning, I probably zone out and stare a bit too long at these guys and they're wondering, "Why is this homo looking at me? West Hollywood is THAT way" and they point West. I do have a bit of a lazy stare that early at the gym. Maybe I'm reading into it.

But there was one really cute guy this morning who I saw running in. A bit of a hipster by way of the South. Big thick nerdy frames. Red jacket. Maybe vintage. He was in a hurry and almost bumped into me. But not before our eyes met. Okay, so at that point it definitely could have been my lazy stare and he couldn't help but look away. It's like a tractor beam.

So I do my workout and I get back to the locker room. I go into the steam room and then notice that the cute Southern hipster has finished his work out. He looks around the locker room a bit and then starts getting undressed. Okay, so I might have stopped to look for a second. Just a second. I get in the shower and head back in the steam for one more sit down.

When I get out I notice my little friend. Not my penis, I'm affectionately referring to the Southern hipster in the diminutive. He's got his curtain wide open and he's naked. His ass is fluffed up like a set of mama's biscuits. Okay, when did I get all twangy. My people aren't from the South. Well...that's not true. My mother's people are from South...of the Border. And my father's people are Southern. Southern Chinese. So that kind of counts, right?

Anyway I notice he's got this University of Birmingham beach towel and then he closes his curtain. Oops. I was staring too hard. But only half way. Interesting.

He gets out of the shower soon after that. But totally towel dries outside of his shower. All the kibbles and bits are there for display. And they were delightful. Like an andouille sausage. I know, I'm too much.

But then we both got dressed and left. Maybe fate will bring us together. Or at least fate assisted by "Missed Connections." I'm totally all over that shit. I think it's because I'm a writer and we have this intense romanticized idea of fate.

We met in the shower at the gym...through the steam his piercing blue eyes found me.

I know. It's ridiculous. But it helps pass the time.