Second Date

Yes, this was an actual date. And come to find out, that the first one was too. We talked about it.

We actually talked about a lot of things, which is so me, but hasn't been for the past five years. I don't want to paint a picture that in my last relationship we didn't talk about anything, but we didn't talk about EVERYTHING. And while some people might find that annoying, it's kind of how I walk through life. I'm a writer for fuck sakes. I process everything. I like to talk about everything. There's something about all thoughts being public that appeals to me. Clearly, because I'm writing these thoughts in my blog. As a kid, there were so many things that were said, but so many things that I felt couldn't. So in my adult life, I don't want to have a lot of those things that can't be said. THAT being said, there was a lot in my relationship that just wasn't talked about. And I allowed that.

Enough about that. On to the date.

So we just decided to go to the Arclight for both dinner AND the movie. And even though LA is being blanketed by sheets of rain, he decided to pick me up even though the Arclight was only five minutes from his house. As was noted, that was a gentlemanly thing to do. Okay, so I have to give him a name now because I can't just refer to him as the Nameless Date Guy. There was cuddling in the movie. The man deserves a name. And only because it's where he went to school, I'm going to call him New Haven. Yalie might be a bit much. And inside joke: another person I know who went to Yale used to say that he went to school in New Haven. I actually did think this was obnoxious. Where did you go? New Haven Junior College? No, you went to Yale. New Haven's not obnoxious, but just in case he has an issue with me referring to him as Yalie, as if that defines him, I think New Haven's a good compromise. Better than choosing a name that starts with his first initial or rhymes with his real name.

Wow, this is a lot of preamble to get to the good stuff.

We decided to see the new Harry Potter because New Haven has seen every movie either on screener or in the theatres. I have not. Black Swan? Seen it. The Fighter? Loved it. Somewhere? Fantastic. So we were left with either Harry Potter or The Tempest and we both figured that bad Shakespeare would have been misery to sit through. Especially late at night. Our movie was at 10:15. He's a real sweet guy to first pick me up and then agree to a later dinner and a movie.

And then there's that. He's a sweet guy. And not sweet in that "I'm going to walk all over you sweet." I've been THAT sweet. He's just a gentleman. And I don't think that's a blogosphere exclusive. I think he knows I feel that way.

So we talked - which I love. We talked about family dynamics and our fathers and about my brother who's a new father. We talked about my best friend who had the two most important men in her life tragically die. We covered a lot of ground. We talked about his network notes on the pilot he's working on. It was kind of great. It was like a buffet of my favorite things: cucumber kim chee, veggie chow fun, seared foie, oysters, a great burger, chicken tacos, and strawberry ice cream. And even though the selection was all over the place, none of it made my stomach upset. It was just yummy goodness.

And he said something REALLY gentlemanly. He acknowledged that here I am, six weeks out of a relationship, and that that has to be tough. And suggested that we just enjoy this as it comes. No pressure. He kind of let me off the hook. I was actually thinking that maybe at some point I might have to initiate this conversation. And he just took care of it. It's out on the table. I like him. He likes me. But here's the circumstance. And you can't runaway from the time factor. I have been broken up from my ex for six weeks. It's funny because when he said that, I had this thought that it felt like months. I don't think that means that it's totally behind me. But I feel far removed from that life. It's like I was playing a role and now I have to go back to my regular life. I've played that part. The part of the supporting player, in the background. And now I have to get back to myself, to get comfortable in my own skin.

One of my favorite things to do is to go to the Arclight and eat at the Cafe. It's like when I was a kid and JC Penny's had their own restaurant in the department store. I used to go with my Mom and get crinkle cut french fries. Those were my favorite. With lots of ketchup. It feels like a lowkey thing to go. Easy. But I love a great restaurant as well. New Haven and I talked about food as well. In some ways, probably mapping out our next few dates. The Kid (meaning me) loves to eat. I got a burger and the Caesar salad. So full disclosure, the Ex and I used to go places and order Caesar Salad when it was on the menu. So I guess it was kind of our thing, and there's still this nostalgia thing I'm doing. I'll get over it. But right now I'm definitely feeling it.

It's partially because I've been on two dates with a smart, well-educated guy from Virginia. And I know it's not the sequel. But New Haven reminds me of all of the good things. And then he brings a lot of great things to the table. He's absolutely a different person to me - and I know he's reading this - so the in depth part of this conversation, if it needs to happen, will happen in private. Maybe it just means I've got great taste. And whatever it means, that's what I'm going to choose to believe for now.

Harry Potter is a long movie. I pretty much immediately lifted the arm rest and cuddled with him. I might have fallen asleep for twenty minutes. But it was nice. And definitely a date. A great second date.