Weight Off My Shoulders (and my stomach)

I've gotten skinnier. A little skinner.

One of the major changes a lot of people make after a break up is that they lose weight (some people gain weight, but that's not what I'm talking about here and that's just depressing). A friend of mine lost 40 pounds after her breakup, and about 15-20 in the 2-3 weeks immediately after.

There are a few reasons for this:

1) You're no longer going out to eat as much. Or ordering in as much. Can't afford to.
2) You now have to be ready to disrobe at a moment's notice (maybe that's just me).
3) You no longer feel complacent.
4) Depression. Sad but true.
5) You actually now have time to go to the gym. And to spin class. And to dance class. And to train for a marathon. And to do those at home DVDs that you've had stored away because you didn't want to wake him up.
6) You can actually go to those Nude Yoga classes on a regular basis. (And that IS just me)

For me, working out has been a great release. It allows me to get out any frustrations that are still left after working and writing this blog.

And this goes back to the hotness thing (earlier blog), but I never really thought that I could have that hot body, so why even try? I was always going to be more interesting (or so I thought) than attractive. And I never thought I could be both. But since I'm already well-read and articulate, I figure I might as well also be cut.

I was at the gym today and I see my gym crush. He's usually wearing a pair of green workout pants with a yellow stripe on the side, maybe by someone like Adidas or Puma. This guy has a cute face. But he's got an amazing ass. Anthony Marintino (Mario Cantone) from Sex and the City would describe it like this: "Like two scoops of butter pecan ice cream." I would say: "Ass Amazing."

And now I know his secret. I went into the exercise studio to do some push ups this morning and I see this guy. He's got a medicine ball and he's twisting from side to side WHILE doing backward lunges. Then he's doing phantom jump robe jumps. And some other sort of weird plyometric (jump training) exercise.

I thought I had gone as far as I could possibly go with my ass. Like I had reached my ass' biological glass ceiling. As a kid my ass was super flat. Then I started dancing in college and gained enough weight to look like a normal person. So my ass was cute. Then I started training for a marathon and running became a part of my regular routine. So now my ass is compact, but cute. However, it's not a plump ass and it's certainly not a double scoop. But staring at this guy's onion, I realized that maybe it IS possible. Maybe he was also teased for being flat as a board in the backdoor, so that he developed a complex. Then he researched "ass exercises" on Google and found exercises that accentuate the derriere.

Or maybe he comes from a family of hot assed guys. No matter, he knows the power of maintenance. Even a double D has to keep their tits firm. So the same holds true if you have a Double D ass, right? Right now I've got B cups that I'm trying to get to a solid C. If I'm successful, I promise there will be photos. And that IS a threat.